The Absolute Worst Things bout Being An Adult

There are a lot of works of fiction about non-adults who wish they were, in fact, adults. They long for the days when they can do things like… I don’t know, be tall? Not be bullied by their school yard chums (this kind of bullying doesn’t necessarily end, it just gets more embarrassing)? Date older women? Then, through some kind of magic, they become old, and discover that it was more fun being young. I don’t necessarily disagree with the message of these films, but they always get the part about why it stinks to be an adult wrong. If they really wanted to show the negative of being an adult, they would stress the absolute worst things about being an adult:

 

You Can Be Drafted

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Remember all those soldiers who got killed in ‘Nam? Well, a lot of them didn’t sign up to go, the United States made them. But you can’t draft a child (or someone with a serious enough physical impairment, so if yer’ yellow bellied toss yourself down some stairs or something). Advantage: non-children.

 

You Begin To Realize This Is It

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When you’re young, there’s this notion that there’s something special waiting for you in adulthood, as if this great new life is right around the corner. Then, the big day comes, and all you really feel is “huh, how about that”. It’s especially bad in countries like America, where you can’t even legally dull the pain with alcohol until you’re 21.

 

You Have A Responsibility To Vote

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Guys, as nice as it is to have a say in your government, voting is a real pain. Not only do you have to familiarize yourself with candidates and their positions (homework?! Gee, thanks!), but once you get attached to a candidate(s), they have at best a fifty percent chance of winning! What kinds of odds are those? And then you have to go through a set number of years before you have another shot at victory? Ugh, no thanks.

 

People Want You To “Grow Up”

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It’s amazing how almost the exact moment you become an adult, people start informing you what you’re “a little old to be interested in”. Comic books, video games, sleeping in a crib, let a guy have SOMETHING!

 

Pressure

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You’re young, what do you have to worry about? Not messing up your report card? Not missing the bus? Inner-city gang violence? Okay, that last one is pretty serious, but other than that you lack any real pressure in your life. Adults? You have to get a job, pay rent, support the family you foolishly, foolishly had. That’s pressure, and most people I know don’t handle pressure well.

 

More Serious Court Sentences

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Look, everybody needs to unwind after a long day. And maybe someof us like to unwind by, I don’t know, throwing a flaming dumpster through a department store window. Well, pull that stunt when you’re over and eighteen and you have some SERIOUS consequences coming your way.

 

That’s All You Get

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Not long into adulthood, you take a good look in the mirror and realize “This is it. This is what I’m going to look like.” It’s pretty depressing, especially when you realize that, as a relatively young adult, this is the PEAK of what you’re going to look like. Oh well, time to buy Tony Stark’s car from the end of The Avengers!

 

What inevitability of life has you bummed out? Let us know in the comments!

 

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