Archibald, You Silly Bum, Where’ve You Hidden All My Plums?
O blessed morning, warming sun! / And, yea, before our day is done / mine tongue demands, across its buds / a quenching taste like nothing does / More sanguine than any flute / The best in crunch of any fruit! / Yet when I search for purple’d bliss / I find that something’s quite amiss / My manna gone, without a trace / But I know who’s the blaming face: / Archibald, you silly bum / Where’ve you hidden all my plums?
My Plum Hutch
The quest begins expectantly / And yet mine hutch is emp-a-ty! / I’ll have my food, child, that’s a must / (Methinks thine pranks are dangerous!) / Archibald, you silly bum / Where’ve you hidden all my plums?
I check the post for mailed-in glee / I wish't mine plums returned to me! / I open wide, my eyes doth render / No plums here, return to sender! / Archibald, you silly bum / Where've you hidden all my plums?
One Of Those Key Rock Things
False exteriors, hidden slats / (Your mischief tires me, that’s a fact!) / I search the rock, immediate grouse / One can’t consume the key of a house! / Archibald, you silly bum / Where've you hidden all my plums?
The Residence Of Actor David Oyelowo
O trash-ed kitchen, upturned bed! / A pained visage on David’s head / For one mere blight, mine plums I smelled-ma / I’ve now upset the star of Selma! / Archibald, you silly bum / Where’ve you hidden all my plums?
Zounds and curses! Out of breath / It seems mine treats aren’t in Earth’s breadth / I search among the moons and stars / My heart’s a black hole, my patience Mars! / Archibald, you silly bum / Where’ve you hidden all my plums?
Listen to me, you floppy-headed f*ck. I’m not joking around. I know you’ve hidden my plums, and you know I’m gonna get them. The question is whether you’re gonna make this easy or hard for me. And Arch, I highly encourage you to take the easy route. It’s a small, old-fashioned town we live in. I know your business. And I can take away the things you love. With horrifying efficiency. The way you, Arch, have taken things from me. Don’t believe me? Still clinging to that “little scamp” persona? Fine. Maybe you just need a little reminder as to the gravity of the situation. Let me just get my… wait a minute. What are these in my pockets?
O casual fool, O God of chance! / It seems as though, in mine own pants / The proof is here, child, I was wrong / I owned my treasure all along / Archibald, you silly bum / That’s where you’ve hidden all my… wait a moment… these aren’t...
If you’ve got plums and need a sitter / Don’t hesitate, reach out on Twitter!