Assassin's Creed If The Main Character Followed The Ten Commandments

The Assassin's Creed games take place in a world where the story of Christianity is literally true-- Eden was an actual place, and lots of other stuff ripped off the DaVinci Code. This means the Assassins should probably follow the Ten Commandments if they want to avoid the wrath of an angry god. But what would this look like? Read on...

 

NO MORE MURDER :(

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6. Thou shalt not kill.

Rats! Killing people is the whole POINT of being an assassin. Some modern types say this commandment should translate to "murder" instead of "kill," making war and execution A-OKAY. So it isn't as bad as it looks. This does mean that they can't just go around killing random people, though, which is half the fun of the game.

 

Assassination Vacations

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4. Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy.

"Assassin" is generally an on-call type of job. If someone needs to get killed, the boss doesn't care about your day off-- you've got assassinating to do. Not in the Ten Commandments version of Assassin's Creed. Is your only shot at killing an evil Templar when he makes a speech on Sunday? Too bad. Sunday is chillaxin' day.

 

Honestssassination

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9. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.

"I cannot tell a lie: I did sneak up behind that Templar guard and slit his throat." That's what an Assassin would say in court if he were ever picked up for one of his heinous crimes. Why? Because God said so. Kill and kill away, just be honest about it.

 

WWJD?

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1. Thou shalt have no other gods before me.

Personal religion isn't the HUGEST deal in the Assassin's Creed universe. But it is in the Bible. Believing exclusively in the Judeo-Christian god is the #1 commandment! The most important one! Luckily, this is pretty easy to do. The only change is that all the Assassins would have to wear What Would Jesus Do bracelets.

 

Rape And Slavery Are Just Dandy!

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HTTP 404: Commandment not found

I'm not saying the Assassins would start raping and enslaving people. I'm just saying that they could do so without breaking the Ten Commandments, because they don't say anything about rape or slavery. (This may have something to do with the fact that back in the Ten Commandments days rape and slavery were the two most popular sports.)

 

Happy Mother's Day!

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5. Honour thy father and thy mother.

No matter how many people you've killed, nobody warms your heart like Mom & Dad. <3 <3 <3.

 

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