The Bieber 'Emo' Haircut Might Give You A Lazy Eye?!

I wake up every morning worried about Justin Bieber — is he developing okay? Is he eating right, reading enough books, learning to treat women like people? Now today I learn there's something else to worry about potentially keeping Bieber from becoming a healthy, functioning adult: his hair.


bieber performing
Justin, the danger is coming from on top of your head.
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The IBTimes reports that an Australian optometrist, Andrew Hogan, has warned that the hairstyle Justin Bieber is famous for — a sweeping, enormous bang covering one eye— might prevent said covered eye from developing the necessary neural pathways to create strong vision. "If a young emo chap has a fringe covering one eye at all times," says Hogan, "that eye won't see a lot of detail." Aha, so that's why Bieber is so bad at Where's Waldo books.


wheres waldo page
He can't distinguish Waldo from all the jerkholes who brought striped towels to the beach.
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It's a "use it or lose it" situation — if you don't look with your eye, it atrophies. It's like working out— if you only use your right arm, it gets strong, while the left arm grows puny.


one strong arm one weak arm
Ha ha! We've all been there!
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The IBTimes also interviewed a hairdresser, Roseanne Anderson, who said "This is probably the only hairstyle in my forty years of hairdressing that could be a health hazard." Mitt Romney might have something to say about that. And besides, hairstyles are nothing but health hazards! The only reason every boy in 4th grade doesn't have a sh*tty, scraggly mullet is because they were beaten up so badly by 6th graders that they had to go get a bowl cut.


kid with mullet
Ha ha! We've all been there!
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Oh, I hadn't vomited in shame in a while. In any event, Bieber has since changed his hairstyle, and thank God for that. I get that the hairstyle is cool, but there are real dangers in having any deficiency in vision. Who knows what could have happened?


bieber attacked by bear
This is what the White House refers to as the "nightmare scenario".
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Do you have the Bieber emo-sweep? And are you going to keep it despite what some Australian optometrist says? Let me know on Twitter or leave a comment below!

 


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