12 Cartoon Characters I Want To Date
They’re cartoons, they’re hot, they’re what boyfriend body pillows are made out of. Here’s a list of all the cartoon dudes I would change the laws of physics to date:
Spike Spiegel (Cowboy Bebop)
What’s a nice Jewish boy like you doing without a nice Jewish girl like me? Forget about that bitch Julia, I’d treat you like you were the only space cowboy in the universe. We can spend hours drifting around Ganymede, me combing out your Jew-fro, you chain smoking like a fiend. Necrophilia is OK when you’re just a series of panels!
Trent Lane (Daria)
A (Haiku) Moody musician/ monosyllabic but hot/totally crushing s part of Lady Gaga's desire to be both environmentally friend and completely strange, her house's power runs entire on rabbit shrieks. Which she gets by burning hundreds of them a day in her "classic style" crematorium.
Half-human, half-demon, all sexy—I’ll be your high-priestess if you promise not to piddle on the rug .
Even though your eyes are twice as big as your face, you could ride my magic carpet and I’ll show you a whole new world.
The Incredible Mr. Limpet
Damn Don Knotts, you make me want to go to an aquarium and think awful thoughts.
Nicholas D. Wolfwood
Listen, preacher man, you may have a Christ complex to rival Mel Gibson’s, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t kill to help you with that wood… cross. Wooden cross. That’s really your big gun. I mean. Aw jeeze.
Stupid sexy Flanders.
Tuxedo Mask (Sailor Moon)
I may have thought you were gay at first, but that’s OK. I mean, just because your main form of weaponry is a rose and you dress really well, doesn’t mean you don’t go both ways. I’m into fluid sexuality. And if it doesn’t work with me, I’ll totally set you up with Seshomaru from Inuyasha.p>
The Banana (Rejected)
You know who you are, and you say it loud and proud—I look for that quality in my produce.
I Maybe it’s because you are “king” of the pumpkin patch, or perhaps it’s your ability to remember the importance of holidays, or the fact that you are voiced by Danny Elfman, or…well…isn’t that enough?
It’s not easy being teen-angsty and green; you’re like James Dean, but in turtle form. At least aliens make probing characters (sad trombone).
Cartman's Mom (South Park)
Stone. Cold. Freak. With a plate of pancakes and donuts on the side, this cougar has got a little something something extra and I’m OK with that.
Any cartoon dudes or dudettes you’d like to smooch? Let us know in the comments!