Celebrities I'd Like To See Compete In The Hunger Games

So I think we are all in agreement that we CAN'T FRIGGIN' WAIT until The Hunger Games comes out on March 23rd. So to keep myself from going a little bonkers from the anticipation, I thought it would be fun to think of some celebrities I'd like to see thrown into the arena. If it was some of these jerks and not innocent people,  I might become all kinds of Pro-Capitol! 

 

Kim Kardashian

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Hey she lives her life on camera, why not her death? With that ass as a target you know she won't last long. But I'm pretty sure the best part would be when she's called as a tribute and none of her sisters volunteer to take her place.  Those girls have nothing in common with Katniss. Well except for the 'K' name.

 

The Situation

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You know I wanted to pick Snooki, but since she's gotten herself into a 'situation' what with a baby and all, I'll have to go with Sitch. It'll be pure comedy as he constantly screams 'Looks like there's a SITUATION!" while he runs from all the danger.  I predict it all ends in the ultimate 'Come at me, Bro!'  where the Sitch confronts someone only to be hit full-on with a grenade. And not the kind he meets at the club and gives genital warts too. Like one that makes the Sitch go boom. 

 

Betty White

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Okay, Betty White is not a jerk or someone I want to see harmed in anyway. But let's face it. She's 90 years old and she will probably die soon.  I'd much rather see her go out in a blaze of glory than spend her last years barely able to chew rice pudding. Hell, who am I kidding, she'd probably win the whole damn thing. IS THERE ANYTHING SHE CAN'T DO???

 

Lindsay Lohan

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Think of it as the ultimate rehab, I mean she literally has to clean up her act fast OR SHE WILL DIE!  If she survives the Games then she can survive anything. It'll be the ultimate Hollywood comeback. If she dies, well at least we'll no longer have to suffer the sad, sad decline of the little girl from The Parent Trap. Seriously, I just saw that movie the other day and it made my heart feel a pang of sadness for real, yo. How did someone so cute, turn into someone that looks so Donatella Versace?

 

Justin Bieber

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I kind of have no choice but to put The Biebs on the list. If I didn't, y'all would all yell at me! I'm only hesitant because I fear that his weapon of choice might be singing his songs to make his opponent run. And do we really need to be subjected to seeing him  bust out his lame dance moves to escape an ambush? I mean, why should we all have to suffer such attacks on our senses? Here's to a pack of Careers having their way with him. CHEERS!

 

Lea Michele

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Of all the things to hate about Glee, for me Lea Michele is the most hatable. I thought I just hated her character, but now I've seen her on talk shows, so I know I really, really can't stand her IRL.  She's so annoying, she makes me hate talent. Besides if she's no longer around to hog the spotlight, I'm pretty sure Glee will have to end too. It's probably in her contract or something. Sorry Mercedes, she'll NEVER let you have your moment!

 

Chris Brown

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I think if anyone deserves to go down in the Hunger Games, it's this a-hole. May he go the way of Cato. I'm pretty sure the wolf muttations will be a much bigger challenge for this tough guy, than Rihanna was. My only wish is that we get to see him cry like a baby first. And then make peepee poopoo in his pants. Yeah, that would be good.

 

Kristen Stewart

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What will she do with no one to save her? Will she make another facial expression? Will she mumble something pretentious? Or will she just curl up into a fetal position and  imagine herself somewhere else, like at Coachella Music Festival say, acting superior to other concertgoers. Someone shove her mouth full of Nightlock berries before we're the ones who die... of boredom!

What celebrities would you like to see compete in the Hunger Games? Let me know @desijedeikin or in the comments below!

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