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Celebrities That Have Probably Made Deals With The Devil

Posted By: Desi Jedeikin on 02.23.11

There are some celebrities that you can’t believe have continued success no matter how much they screw up. And then there are some you can’t believe have had any success at all. Why, you might ask, are they still around to make us roll our eyes with their every move? I believe that in exchange for fame, money and a lifetime supply of get-out-of-jail-free cards, they have sold their souls to the Lord of Darkness. Here’s my list of some of the more obvious examples.

Ke$ha

Ke$ha is clearly Beelzebub’s beeyotch! Can’t you just picture her waking up one morning in a bed of her own barf after a night of pounding jello shots with Satan? It is also a little known fact that the devil invented autotune.

John Mayer

I think that he actually may have initially become famous for being a talented musician, but like so many before, got greedy and wanted more. Because I’m almost certain he sold his soul to Satan in order to bang chicks more famous than him, get away with constantly saying douchey things and, inexplicably, to look like someone kicked him in the nards when he sings ‘Your Body is a Wonderland’. We know the King of Demons is responsible for granting John Mayer these wishes, but why anyone would wish for that last one remains a mystery.

Perez Hilton

Ay Diablo! He may be trying to leave the darkside, but once you sign the deal in your cholesterol and meth-laden blood, game over. Sorry Perez but you got pwned!

Taylor Lautner

How is this guy a famous actor? He makes Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson look like Meryl Streep and Robert DeNiro. Okay, maybe not that extreme…but still! And despite the fact that his face looks like he ran into a plate glass window, girls everywhere scream with delight every time he removes his shirt, which is a hella lot of screaming! I’m pretty sure they would be screaming in horror if they knew an angel had to die for every ab on his hairless chest.

Charlie Sheen

Two and a Half Men is the top-rated comedy on television. Charlie Sheen is the highest paid comedic actor on television. Hello?? Still not enough proof? Just imagine if you woke up toothless and hung over after partying all night with porn stars, and then your boss, instead of firing your sorry a**, sends a limo filled with strippers to bring you in to work. Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Heidi Montag

It’s pretty clear that a zero talent hack like Heidi Montag sold her soul for fame, fortune and to be the most beautiful woman on the planet. It is also clear that the Dark One decided two out of three ain’t bad.

Billy Ray Cyrus

Only the Prince of Demons would have the power to make a mulleted, d-bag who wore acid-washed hammer pants a country superstar. Obviously the evil rubbed off on Billy Ray, because he took it upon himself to produce Devil’s Spawn, Miley, whose mere existence is a clear indication of the coming apocalypse.

Train

There is one overwhelming reason I believe this band owes its recording contract to Lucifer. Just think about what song might be playing on an endless loop in the firey pits of eternal damnation and you will hear the hellacious heys of “Hey Soul Sister.” Imma stop sinning right now.

There are so many more…let us know who else we should add to the list in the comments!

Check Out Billy Ray Cyrus and How Hannah Montana Destroyed His Family!

Tags: celebrities, cyrus, deal, devil, kesha, lautner, made, mayer, montag, perez, probably, sheen, train

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56 Comments

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3NCORE

1 week ago

Funny, but it's sad that people actually believe this.

keysofivory

16 weeks ago

I heard Taylor Lautner is a snob. On the set of Twilight, one of my friends went up to talk to Taylor just to pass the time, not knowing that he was one of the main characters. Taylor stuck up his nose and walked away. What a beeeetch.

fran_dtl

43 weeks ago

List:
- Jim Morrison.
- The Glee cast (they do covers of songs from succesful and bad pop singers)
- Rebecca Black.
- Black Eyed Peas.
- Lady Gaga.

Don't get me wrong, but they must hide a secret beneath all their fame.

SammerJammer33

48 weeks ago

i agree with every one of these, especially billy ray and his "devil's spawn", except for taylor lautner! hes so innocent, and did absolutly nothing to piss anyone off. and when u got a body like that

Yeti7865

49 weeks ago

HEY! TRAIN'S NEW ALBUM WAS PRETTY BAD, BUT YOU'VE GOTTA LISTEN TO THE OLD ONE!!!!!

Hayden101

52 weeks ago

Kanye West? Taylor Swift is an Angel...Why do you think Kanye has it out for her?

Hayden101

52 weeks ago

Ke$ha? Beelzebub's beeyotch? I think you mean Lady Gaga. In the words of GloZell, she might've had a lunch with Lucifer. :)

mayathesparklydino

55 weeks ago

I agreed with every single one until I got to Train. Now I'm convinced that Desi Jedeikin has probably made a deal with the Devil, too.

59Reznov

63 weeks ago

all of you are listining to the devil did you guys know some guy converted with your holy book a long time ago and its not hoax what the holy book said you do don't it and if the thing told you not to

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64 weeks ago

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64 weeks ago

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1800frenchcookies

65 weeks ago

aww I love train! D: but this list is firetruckin hilarious! damn, i couldnt stop laughing at the picture of charlie sheen :3

iGetBored.T_T

65 weeks ago

You should've put Paris Hilton, Lindsey Lohan, and Miley Cyrus. Also Demi Lovato. >.> All of them give teenage girls a bad name, haha....

G6master200

65 weeks ago

Obviously train look at there album picture!!!! LOL!!!

N2N_FAN

65 weeks ago

The most obvious one..... Justin Beiber. Also, Rob Schneider, who's such a jerk, and Tom Cruise (also a giant jerk.)

1lessthan3

65 weeks ago

I think by Taylor Lautner you meant Robert Pattinson... How some people find him hot confuses me

Cyn1446

65 weeks ago

Yup Yup all true totally!

ninjasftw

65 weeks ago

the Taylor Lautner one was a little harsh. jeezus.

tambravo

65 weeks ago

I can also add...
Demi Moore (hot, no talent)
Jessica Alba (hot, NO talent)
Jennifer Love-Hewitt (ugly, no talent, still gets parts in movies and tv shows... WTF?)

tambravo

65 weeks ago

..... He sings like a girl, acts like a gangster, looks 8 years old and compares himself to Kurt Cobain. The devil MUST have something to do with this... trying to ruin everyone else's lives.

tambravo

65 weeks ago

I think you're mistaking Taylor Lautner with Pattinson... whatever made HIM one of the sexiest men in the world? HE'S DISGUSTING! Another one would have to be Beiber... (DUH). He sings like a girl, ac

tdgrogan44

65 weeks ago

Not that I want to defend Taylor Lautners talent (or lack there of) but the line "an angel died for every ab on his hairless chest" is a major problem for me... Abs are on the abdomen (belly) which

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65 weeks ago

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65 weeks ago

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65 weeks ago

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JobBos

65 weeks ago

What about Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton and Justin Beiber?

snakedeshazer

65 weeks ago

and thus we see that the devil will not support his children at the last but will speedily drag them down to hell. haha

KatieSAURUS

65 weeks ago

Taylor Lautner does NOT look like he ran into a plate glass window. You must be thinking of Robert Pattinson. XD

pattar4

65 weeks ago

Justin Beiber; sounds like candy even when autotuned yet every girl in the mother f***ing world loves him and he can pretty much get wat ever he wants but the devil in his infinate humor made it so Jus

CowGoMeow

65 weeks ago

Wow Im suprised alot of people arent in here

CassieBlue13

65 weeks ago

@Magalink I second Keanu Reeves. He ruins everything for me.

S0nnyS1d3Up

65 weeks ago

Obviously Miley Cyrus! Kanye West! Justin Bieber! Jonas Brothers! Britney Spears! Paris Hilton!

Magalink

65 weeks ago

You forgot Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Angelina jolie, Brad Pitt, KEANU REEVES OMG!!! How could you forget the most useless worthless actor in the planet!! HE SUCKS!!!

ItsTheYearOfTheBeast

65 weeks ago

So im actually one of the girls that think Taylor lautner is not cute whatsoever but gross

chocoholic1

65 weeks ago

i think r patz is kinda evil.... SPARKLY FREAK!!!!!!!!!

YasminBonner

65 weeks ago

I had a feeling Billy Ray Cyrus would be on this :P

chocoholic1

65 weeks ago

wheres justin bieber????????

chocoholic1

65 weeks ago

john mayers pretty hot but hes a massive douche and i guess satan was behind heidi's boob job!

twistedarm

65 weeks ago

What about Jay Thomas?

ChristellPistell

65 weeks ago

hey soul sister, please go die in a fire!

Kaze Ko Neko

65 weeks ago

You'd think Lady Gaga would be on here....
o 3o

Gamefreakguy

65 weeks ago

Hmm... cut me off. Anyway, it's a very serious issue, and if you would like info regarding it, check this out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixhSOjrHcec

God bless all.

Gamefreakguy

65 weeks ago

This is not actually a laughing matter at all Smosh. The main group I'm familiar with is called the Illuminati which is very real and involves a huge number of famous music artists, athletes, and famo

darkstar12010

65 weeks ago

No Eminem

gritmoon

65 weeks ago

what about Eminem, Rihanna, and R. Kelly?

ofaro

65 weeks ago

were is bieber here?