Dating Advice from the Criminally Insane

Taking a girl out on a date can be scary. You might say the wrong thing. You might accidentally do the wrong thing. You really want this girl to like you, right? Well if you listen to these dating tips, you'll win her heart. There is nothing more important to win than a heart.

 

Listen to what they're saying

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Women want a man who listens to her. Take notes if you must.

 

Laugh at their jokes

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Women like it when you laugh at their jokes. It's hard to distinguish what are jokes though. So assume all speech is a joke. Laugh at every thing they say. Don't stop laughing. Hahahahahahahahahaha.

 

Keep the conversation light

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It's especially important on the first date to keep the conversation light. Ask her simple questions— what is her family like? Does she like milk chocolate or dark chocolate? How many pushpins go behind her fingernail? Favorite kind of dog?

 

Be flirtatious

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Show your date that you're interested by acting flirtatious. Take their hand. hold it. Squeeze hard. Did it pop? Gooooooood.

 

Pick up the check

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It's important to remember when you're on a date with a girl that no one is truly innocent.

 

Thank her

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The greatest lie the devil ever told was convincing man he did not exist. But the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing man he did not exist. HAVE A GOOD NIGHT. Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

 

what does human connection bring you that you did not have before? let us know in the comments.

 

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