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Dearest Co-Worker,

I wish to take this opportunity and apologize. I try to make our shared workplace a fun and exciting environment to come to. I do realize that some of the things I do may seem off putting and a bit repetitious but I come from the school of thought that states that things are most funny around 255th time that I do them.

With that said let me list a few of my oddities and lay bare my secret shame. I can see how it might be startling that at 12:45 every day I announce to all those within ear shot that I am going to lunch by bellowing that I am, indeed, "hungry like the wolf."

A few of you giggle and ask if I am going to see Rio as she dances on the sand, and one of you even asked if I had a date with a West End girl.

I laughed at both and to the latter I made sure you knew the difference between the Pet Shop Boys and Duran Duran.

As far as my standard "Thats what she said,"  line that I say at every opportunity, I have opted to go with with the HR friendly acronym TWSS.

As far as nicknames go I will apologize for any offense but still use the nicknames. Please don't attribute any malice to these names I just have a poor memory and don't wish to rock the boat at this late date.

The guy with the huge scar on his forearm from a recent dog bite with still be known as Shark Week.

The gentleman with the very Irish appearance and surname to match will still be known as  Boondock.

The young lady with the pony tail that is an accomplished practitioner of Kenpo karate and boxing will still be know as Million Dollar Baby.

The very nice young man who has numerous body modifications and a shaved head will still be known as Sloth, and I will offer you a Baby Ruth daily.

To my 6 foot 7 inch 250 pound amateur MMA friend, I will still call you a big monkey and tell you to go back to Skull Island daily.

To the young man with fully grown Grizzly Adams beard, I will still  call you Beardo.

Deal with it.

I hope that you all forgive my sporadic robot dancing and the fact that I tend to make up songs that seem to make no sense and have no relevance to what we do. Who can forget that haunting melody "I like pumpkin pie, bla bla bla, blu blu blu"?  How about the dulcet tones of  "Send a survey....Survey sent"?

So, once again I am sorry. I wont stop, but I am sorry all the same.

Sincerely,

Chris D.

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