The Dictionary Adds New, Stupid Words Like 'F-Bomb' and 'Bucket List'!
Every year, Miriam Webster's adds new words to the dictionary, and it feels like recently, word snobs have taken offense to some of their choices. For instance, you used to be able to be able to shame your stupider family members who used "ain't" by pointing out that it was not, in fact, a word. But since Miriam-Webster's added it to the dictionary, the only thing you have to feel superior to those family members is your acceptance of gay marriage and understanding of computers. And today we heard about even more words that are sure to raise the ire of us linguaphiles. Let's take a look at, and mock, some of them:
F-bomb n : the word f*ck — used metaphorically as a euphemism
So basically, the coward's way of saying "f*ck". Although, here at Smosh, we have to put a star in place of the "u" in "f*ck" anyhow, so I guess this new word gives us a few different ways of being cowards.
Like how sometimes you can run away from a bear and sometimes if you cry he'll let you go.
man cave n : a room or space (as in a basement) designed according to the taste of the man of the house to be used as his personal area for hobbies and leisure activities.
I feel like the term "man cave" is still only used by immature husbands in their first year of marriage. I'm not sure it's a thing yet. When they add a man cave to the White House, we'll talk. And you can bet that if Mitt Romney wins the Presidency this fall the Presidential man cave is the first item on his agenda.
Geocaching n : a game in which players are given the geographical coordinates of a cache of items which they search for with a GPS device.
So now games are getting defined. Great. Next year I'll be on the lookout for
Red Dead Redemption n : a game that Jesus Christ seems like it should be cool but is just so goddamn boring to pick up and play. I mean, the first, like, eight missions are about cattle rustling. Jesus f*ck.
Toxic adj : relating to or being an asset that has lost so much value that it cannot be sold on the market.
And Britney Spears' dream of coining a dictionary-worthy word remains unfulfilled. Much like the rest of her dreams.
underwater n : having, relating to, or being a mortgage loan for which more is owed than the property securing the loan is worth.
More like "n : already a thing."
gastropub n : a pub, bar, or tavern that also offers meals of high quality.
Mm, a word exemplifying the mix of high and low class trend that's emerging in food service, much like "McDonald's frappe".
Energy drink n : a usually carbonated beverage that typically contains caffeine and other ingredients (as taurine and ginseng) intended to increase the drinker’s energy
See, this isn't really a word. It's not a new noun in and of itself, but a pre-existing noun that includes a pre-exiting adjective. So it isn't fair that we're going to accept the favorite drink of UFC fans and fatsos into the dictionary and not accept my favorite drink, red Kool-Aide mixed with mashed bananas and Almond Joy coffee creamer.
It's actually not that good.
Life coach n : an advisor who helps people make decisions, set and reach goals, or deal with problems.
I'm shocked this term made it in and its sister term, "big crybaby douchebag who can't accomplish anything on his own", didn't.
Bucket list n : a list of things that one has not done before but wants to do before dying.
Is that what we're doing now? Defining titles of Morgan Freeman movies? I'll allow this one, Miriam-Webster, if you promise that next year you include "Bruce Almighty" in your list, which is a thing my girlfriend let's me do on my birthday.
Sorry Morgan Freeman.
Copernicium n : a short-lived artificially produced radioactive element that has 112 protons.
Awesome! This is absolutely a new word! It's not a combination of two pre-existing words that combine to make a new, metaphorical meaning, it's a thing that never existed before but now exists. Hopefully Miriam-Webster will keep that criteria in mind as we move forward.
Brain cramp n : an instance of temporary mental confusion resulting in an error or lapse of judgment.
Go f-bomb yourself Miriam-Webster.
Which word is the greatest affront to the English language? Let me know on twitter @mikeyfromsu or in the comments below!
Check out Foreign Words That Are Fun To Say!