The Differences Between Werewolf And Vampire Christmas

Everyone loves Christmas, and nobody loves Christmas more than Werwolves and Vampires, except maybe Jews and Muslims. But most non-Muslims have never gotten the chance to celebrate Christmas with a pack of werewolves, or a coven of vampires, so most people want to know, what's it like? How do they celebrate Christmas?

 

Christmas Carols: Werewolves

Werewolves have an uncontrollable blood lust for singing Christmas Carols. But because they are werewolves they can't form words. So it can be a tad dischordant.

 

Christmas Carols: Vampires

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Vampires have angelic voices, which they put to much use during the Christmas season, going door to door and singing carols. Unfortunately, the only Christmas Carol that vampires ever sing is: "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer."

 

Christmas Eve: Werewolves

Kids have just enough self control to only open one present on Christmas eve, and wait (though it isn't easy on them) for the morning to open the rest. Werewolves don't have nearly the self control for even that. Just try to get a werewolf to wait to open his presents until Christmas morning, he won't! And you'll be dead! Dead from being killed by that werewolf!

 

Christmas Eve: Vampires

Vampires like to spend Christmas Eve either reflecting on the previous year with their loved ones, or waiting for a vulnerable looking woman to walk out of the movie theatre, then murdering her for her blood. 

 

Stocking Stuffers: Werewolves

Werewolves hate getting socks in their stockings, after all, they have fur on their feet so they don't need socks. Werewolves also hating getting packs of Pokemon cards in their stockings, because they've already got the full set anyways. If you're going to put anything in a werewolves' stocking, a nice meaty human foot would be the perfect gift. If you can't find a human foot, a Barnes and Nobles Gift Card will suffice.

 

Stocking Stuffers: Vampires

You'd think vampires would pretty much just want blood in their stockings, but you'd be wrong. In vampire circles it's customary to use lonely, spoiled 16 year old girls as stocking stuffers.

 

Presents: Werewolves

The Legend Of Zelda: Skyward Sword. 

 

Presents: Vampires

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Vampires prefer a gift from the heart, rather than some impersonal store bought gift. So a nice Macaroni shell glue drawing is always appreciated. Other nice gifts for vampires include a poem about why you guys are friends, a scrap book of memories from your relationship, or a stake through heart so that they may die and be away from this endless existence that they've spent in eternal dark unable to love or to be warmed by the sun.

What other ways do Vampires and Werewolves spend Christmas differentely? Let us know in the comments!

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