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Eating Bacon Makes You More Likely To Get Cancer?

Posted By: Mikey McCollor on 01.16.12

Recently, a a study published by the British Journal of Cancer has found that eating bacon increases your risk of cancer. For every 50 grams of processed meat you eat, the study suggests, your risk of pancreatic cancer goes up 19 percent. This is bad news for the Internet, which hasn't been this angry since whatever it was angry about yesterday.

"These cat pictures are FAR from suitable!"
(source)

So obviously, as a man with both a hearty appetite and a Reddit account, I found this news troubling. But I'm just finding out about this news now, after my third BBBBBLT of the day. What else might I be doing that could ultimately kill me? Doctor Paul Ewald, an evolutionary biologist from the University of California, Irvine suggests that kissing might cause cancer as well. When asked how we get infected with the pathogens that may cause Cancer, he said "Two of the most powerful examples are sexual transmission and kissing transmission, and by that I mean juicy kissing, not just a peck on the cheek."

"Sweetie, I love you, but I just feel like I'm making out with cancer."
(source)

After a little Googling around, I found that damn near everything increases your risk for Cancer. No, like everything. We're talking cell phones, french fries, red meat, deodorant, wine, Facebook (Facebook!), soup, and chips. No word on whether that's the Lay's potato crisp chips or the 1977 motorcycle cop TV show CHiPs.

"We should probably be drinking more Vitamin C, Ponch."
(source)

Just typing that list was exhausting. Can you imagine actually exhuming all that stuff from your life?

"My pantry is finally cancer-free."
(source)

I'm not a fan of headlines that state some everyday-use product is going to kill us. They make people fearful for fear's sake. Listen, if you find out eating Cap'n Crunch cereal is causing people to spontaneously explode from the inside, then yes, get that information out there as soon as you can. But for something as intangible as a slight increase in the risk of getting cancer? I wonder if we should be worried about that. I mean, I'm just as concerned about my mortality as anyone, but maybe I can't control whether or not I get cancer. Maybe sometimes people just get cancer. And no matter how many headlines scream at us that there's something we can do to prevent it, I suspect that we, uh, can't. What I'm certain we can control is the way we use however much sweet cancer-free time we do have. So here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to smell nice, I'm going to eat a lot of soup, and I'm going to kiss, like, everybody. But mostly I'm just going to shovel bacon into my goddamn mouth every minute of every day.

F*ck off cancer. Go America!
(source)

What do you think? Is this going to adversely affect your daily bacon intake? Let us know in the comments!

Check out the 10 Best Places To Eat Bacon!

Tags: bacon, cancer, chips, internet, kissing, studies

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65 Comments

Post new comment

tomboy FTW

2 weeks ago

But bacon is too delicious!!

SamEatsBrains

12 weeks ago

Considering 50g is 2 slices...wouldn't we all be over 100% likely then? That's frightening. I'll just have to switch to nitrite free bacon...but still....how is that statistic even possible?

shushi44

12 weeks ago

(the 2nd picture)

shushi44

12 weeks ago

GOSSIP GIRL ! <3

IanishotBITCH

14 weeks ago

This will not effecr my bacon eating at all! I love bacon!

thedotorofpeper

17 weeks ago

epic meal time is screwed

Corrupted core

18 weeks ago

I've seen over a million (item here) will give you cancer

a few examples are...

seizers will give you cancer.

blue rasberry juice will give you cancer.

brocoli will give you cancer.

Faizdane

18 weeks ago

hey the man in second picture is kinda like Anthony, don't you think?

Kniros

18 weeks ago

Meh, never had bacon and to be honest, knowing what I do about pigs in general...I never want to eat them.

beautifuldawn

18 weeks ago

I already don't eat bacon cuz I don't like it, so I'm good.

smoshyfan9824

18 weeks ago

thats kinda scary i LLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEE bacon i eat almost every day i dont want to get cancer F**k that im still eating bacon screw cancer

dw499

18 weeks ago

I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

AllisonAvenged

18 weeks ago

It's cool. I'm vegetarian.

SalaComMander

18 weeks ago

Doesn't matter, had bacon

ruthbunny109

18 weeks ago

whoever mad up that ridculous lie. F U BACON IS THE GREASTEST FOOD EVER ( after cake)

darkdave1998

18 weeks ago

BACON! Y U KILL US!?

Eats-Rainbows

18 weeks ago

Bacon and other lunch meats have sodium nitrate which over time is proven to cause cancer. It's in there for color but you can buy meats without it. :) Turkey bacon is better.
I like to eat rainbows.

09WaffleMan

18 weeks ago

i dont like bacon anyways =D yay for not dying!!

Griff48432

18 weeks ago

i eat bacon screw cancer :P

JoeZx3

18 weeks ago

Wonder if EpicMealTime has Cancer...

eeveerocks123

18 weeks ago

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

epicscientist3000

18 weeks ago

Like the dude said "lets enjoy our life, f*ck off cancer, go america! BACON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !

LittleRainbowMiss

18 weeks ago

I knew about this long time ago...? How is this study new? :D Bacon's ok, but I can definitely live without it...:)

Noodle-Snack

18 weeks ago

and ohw yeah... most of the time you get cancer from American food, because we have some descent laws about food in Europe.

Noodle-Snack

18 weeks ago

I don't eat bacon often anywayz. I find it way to salty and fat.
I do sleep with my cellphone under my pillow, so I probably get a head tumor ore something like that... :(

love.smosh.forever

18 weeks ago

I love how it says bacon gives you cancer and it gives you like a whole lecture, then at the end, it advertises the next article which is "10 Best Places To Eat Bacon" wow.

angelboy

18 weeks ago

Wtf if a life without Bacon

smoshlover45541

18 weeks ago

I need to go eat some bacon now cause I WONT GET CANCER

dinowolfgal

18 weeks ago

If people really understood how many things caused cancer this world woud blow up. EVERY day there is somethign that will cause cancer. Phones, TV, computers, light (even sunlight!), washing your clothes, shampoo, soup. Almost everything we use or eat will increase the chance of cancer. Changing one aspect of your life (stop eating bacon for example) honostly wont do much good when everything else you're doing and eating is going to increase the chance too. The only reason they do tehse studies

Niya

18 weeks ago

Ohh Mann Interting....Never New That!

Christmas Bunny

18 weeks ago

Sucks for everyone but vegetarians :)

Rebekah Lauren Hunt

18 weeks ago

got here by twitter lol :p

Nass44

18 weeks ago

This is as good as ;

" 100% of all terrorist eat bread." .... :D

Olie James-Knight

18 weeks ago

If this is true all I have to eat is 250g of processed meat and I will have a 95% chance of getting cancer? This must definately be true then.

iJazzmineMariee

18 weeks ago

I wonder how long it's going to take EpicMealTime to get Cancer o.0

wing wong

18 weeks ago

f**k you cancer WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BACON

TheBrainiacified

18 weeks ago

Too bad I'm Vegetarian :P

Candy3133

18 weeks ago

WOW Thats awsome because I HATE BACON!!! But one thing that im not EVER EVER EVER EVER giving up is my FRENCH FRIES!!!!

CANADADOLLARBEE...

18 weeks ago

HEIL HILTER.
its a reference to monty pythons flying circus....

pandaman9

18 weeks ago

Im still going to eat bacon

the mailman

18 weeks ago

If all this cancer shit were true everybody would die at the age of 35. Even if it does efect us its a unoticable difference. So just enjoy life and forget all this crap!!!

NyanCatFtw

18 weeks ago

... and as a vegetarian I will live forever :D *evillaughter*

9999fail

18 weeks ago

screw the cancer, i have bacon!

Brenna O.O

18 weeks ago

Totally worth it.

Samuel Valentine

18 weeks ago

Every thing gives YOU cancer i font becouse im awsome :D
Kitty=^.^=

xDemi

18 weeks ago

*what things can LOWER that risk.

xDemi

18 weeks ago

Some people have a genetic predisposition to cancer. Doesn't mean that people who eat bacon are actually going to get cancer. In fact, they say that kissing is good for oral health. Cancer isn't caused by this pathogen or another. The cancer genes can be activated by pathogens screwing with DNA sequences, but pathogens are not the direct cause. A person's own genes are. So, in my opinion, we should stop worrying so much about what common things could CAUSE cancer risk to go up and look at more w

Backa

18 weeks ago

There goes EpicMealTime's health...

gir lover 783

18 weeks ago

noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo it cant be

mexicanandproud101

18 weeks ago

Nooooooooo!!!!! bacon is to awesome to cause cancer! Why can't it be stuff no one likes like listening to rebecca black, twilight, justin beiber&selena gomez. But please not bacon!

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