10 Fake Movies I Wish were Real Movies
It’s a shame that Hollywood struggles to put out decent movies on a consistent basis, especially when so many great movies and TV shows have other great movies already inside of them. I wish there was a way to go into the movie with in the movie and incept some of these awesome ideas. But there’s not, so for now I settle on bringing you 10 fake movies I wish were real movies.
10. Scorcher VI – Global Meltdown
The best part of Tropic Thunder was the sequence of fake trailers. And Scorcher VI was by far the greatest. What’s better than a movie that promises Tug Speedman + a gun + a baby, uh… Tug Speedman + 2 guns + 2 babies! Who did leave the fridge open you guys? Who did leave the fridge open…
9. Kick Puncher
We can all agree that Community is an awesome show. In fact, it’s such an objective fact that people who disagrees with it will now be referred to as “birthers.” And I want nothing more in life than to one day be able to sit down with Troy and Abed and watch this classic action franchise from start to finish. I call it a dream; my doctor calls it Schizoid Personality Disorder.
8. The Oregon Trail
So a comedy group got together and made a fake trailer a while back for Oregon Trail, the movie. It got over 1 million hits on youtube and nearly every comment was “I wish this was real.” The people have spoken, down with Transformers, up with historically accurate learning game nostalgia.
7. Rochelle Rochelle
This seductive drama was all the rage in the Seinfeld universe, ALL of the rage. And quite frankly, I’m surprised it’s not real. I could totally see The Weinsteins making this movie to try and get Penelope Cruz her second plays-a-convincing-hot-chick Oscar.
6. I Wanna Be Sedated
When Bob Ryan brought this movie to Ari Gold in Entourage the first thing I thought of was how great a Ramones movie could be if done well. The second thing I thought was, “I’m pretty sure Jeremy Piven isn’t acting. I think they just stand him in front of the cameras and say ‘be Jeremy Piven.’” I personally would cast Howard Stern from 30 years ago as Joey Ramone. But apparently in post post 911 Hollywood the only two actors who are allowed to be in movies are Bradley Cooper and Nicholas Cage.
5. Werewolf Women of the SS
My favorite Grindhouse trailer and one movie they can never, ever make in real life. Hot Nazi werewolves, Hitler running for his life, Rob Zombie at the helm; this movie has it all. This is why god invented 3D people!
4. Conan the Librarian
A character that has been used comedically in everything from Reading Rainbow to Weird Al’s UHF. Conan brings his take-no-prisoners attitude to the world of libraries as he embarks on magical adventures. Schwarzenegger could totally make this as a kid’s film to try and prove he is a real family man. Well, familIES man.
3. Don You Go Rounin’ Roun to Re Ro
Can we just change SNL to the Bill Hader Hour? He’s awesome. And I would totally see this movie! It’s got guns, British people shooting guns, car chases where people are shooting guns. They nailed the genre perfectly, and this movie would be the end all be all of the British crime movie wave.
2. Who Dat Ninja
Of all the fake movies in 30 Rock this sounds the hilariousist. Tracy Jordan is so much fun to watch. And let’s be honest, it can’t be any worse than Cop Out.
1. Threat Level Midnight
Michael Scarn is the new James Bond only more James Bondier. It has everything, Catherine Zeta Scarn, The WNBA All-Star game, guns shooting guns with guns. This movie is a franchise and a game changer and Hollywood is down right moronic for not realizing the beautiful potential of actor/writer/regional manager Michael Scott.
Which fake movies do you wish were real?