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Fan Claims Justin Bieber Is Her Baby's Daddy!
OMG! I did not see this one coming! Biebs has been slapped with a paternity suit, y'all! I know what you're all thinking. How can a girl, who has no penis and has yet to reach puberty knock up a skank-liever?? It's like a friggin' miracle or something!
Who is this supposed Bieber baby mama? Why it's twenty-year-old fan Mariah Yater, who is now suing the star, requesting that he not only submit to a paternity test but that he provide support for the three-month-old baby boy. Someone need to get Maury Povich on the phone, STAT!
The best thing about the lawsuit, though, has got to be the details that Yater gives regarding the time she spent with Bieber. Got your barf bag handy? Okay, I'll continue. She clams that a security guard approached her a year ago at one of Bieber's concerts at the Staples Center in Los Angeles. She was invited backstage because the teen idol had seen her in the front row and requested a meeting. When she met Bieber the attraction was so strong that they immediately started making out. The Biebs then told Mariah that he wanted "to make love to her and this would be his fist time." If you aren't doubled over puking or belly laughing right now at the very idea of this happening, I can only assume you're a Bieber fan. And I join sane people everywhere in mocking you.
Then he apparently turned into Lil' Wayne and started dropping the f-bomb real sexy-like, and things got X-rated for 30 seconds. I kid you not. The fact that Bieber's alleged first time lasted 30 seconds has been entered into a legal document that has been presented to a court of law. So that makes it like official. BAHAHAHAHAHAHA! What a way to prove you're not a girl! Insert sarcastic slow clap.
Mariah also claims that Bieber refused to wear a condom because "it was his first time and he wanted to feel everything." Can someone please strike me on the head with a heavy object? Not enough to kill me, just enough to give me a case of temporary amnesia.
Naturally, the Bieber camp is denying Yater's claims. And who you gonna believe? America's favorite pre-pubescent punching bag or a twenty-year-old statutory rapist who willingly testified that she submitted to thirty seconds of hell on earth with a girlie boy-child thing? Like I said...deciding on a disputed paternity should be left to the master!
What do you think? Are the details of this story horrifying or hilarious? Do you believe the Bieb is no longer a virgin? Let me know @desijedeikin or in the comments below!
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47 Comments
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SUPERSONICTRAIN1
20 weeks ago
If I could do this with no consequence, I would spend my mornings filing lawsuits and my evenings working out my abdomen with laughter while eating grapes. I'd love to meet you, Mariah. x)
deathjoker6
25 weeks ago
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......\.............\......... ../............./ This for Mariah Ya
maibeelou
28 weeks ago
If he's not a virgin then it's not with this lady it's with Selena Gomez
maibeelou
28 weeks ago
If he's not a virgin then it's not with this lady it's with Selena Gomez
chasea568
28 weeks ago
bieb shaka-laka!
Panarica
28 weeks ago
Finally A Biebs Conspiracy!!!! He is soooo freaking lame...
Anthonyishotter...
28 weeks ago
OMG Justine Beiber is pregnant? THAT WHORE!!!
wwggmm
28 weeks ago
-------( http://www.flying4biz.com )------
wwggmm
28 weeks ago
-------( http://www.flying4biz.com )------
21stcenturygirl
28 weeks ago
I guess she's like society's sacrifice to improve itself
otidrog
29 weeks ago
i actually hope he is a father ill be laughing at all the girls that like him in my school
PernilleAndersen
29 weeks ago
I don't think Justin Bieber is a virgin. I mean, he is a teenage boy with millions of girls throwing themselves at him! But I don't think he is the father. That would be hilarious though! :)
AwkwardNinja98
29 weeks ago
Joke's on her cuz if it's true, she's goin' to jail for statatory r ape.
halicake
29 weeks ago
I didn't think two girls could have a baby...
Eardn
29 weeks ago
In an ideal world they would run away together to Mexico or somewhere and never be heard from again.
DarkHeart530
29 weeks ago
hahahahahahhaha XD
nyancat123
29 weeks ago
so fake that ladie just wanted to start something
nyancat123
29 weeks ago
so fake that ladie just wanted to start something
nyancat123
29 weeks ago
so fake that ladie just wanted to start something
RayGenshi
29 weeks ago
I bet all of those "Beliebers" are going APE SH*T right now! LOL!
ilikesocks
29 weeks ago
it is obviously fake..................... 1 girl and an 'it' will NEVER (haha JB I SAID IT) be able to have a kid(s) together!
Clove1234
29 weeks ago
NOPE. It's a lie.... Prepubescent "males" can't make babies....
taco21
29 weeks ago
I made a baby baby baby ohh lolol
Wow this news is gonna last longer then kim's marriage
(2 soon?)
Liou
29 weeks ago
No way, just the story of immediate making out is what any fangirl would cook up. (The 30 seconds seems pretty realistic though) Wouldn't be the first time a fangirl played this trick. Well, what's the worst that could happen, she might get some extra money to raise her kid, and he might grow up, haha.
Seriously I wouldn't want to be in his place -_- it's horrible to play on someone's guilt.
abeveryday
29 weeks ago
AHAHA THIS MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD XD
21stcenturygirl
29 weeks ago
I'm so sorry for the mama, although I kinda want it to be justines baby just for lolz.
21stcenturygirl
29 weeks ago
Mariah, if you're reading this, I'm sorry for you.
sesshy
29 weeks ago
Maury's TV ratings would break records if Bieber went on his show to test... I'll watch it.
Chara97
29 weeks ago
I love how the belibers are really touchy about it saying she's a lying whore and such. Mainly cause they wish they had though of it first.
I like raisins.
kun-kun
29 weeks ago
i wonder what selena gomez thinks.....
I kinda hope it is justin bieber's baby just for lols xD
Nickosys
29 weeks ago
COME' ON NIGGA!!!! THIS THE BIGGEST LIE EVER, HE IS GAY!!!!!!!!!!!!
LovelyAngiee
29 weeks ago
O.O OMFG!!
WildAtHeart
29 weeks ago
ehmahgosh...thats ew. i mean like isnt that like illegel?
Annie_824
29 weeks ago
Hum...not sure if i should laugh or be horrified by that news...i mean..do we REALLY want Beiber to reproduce itself?!?
_Demon_
29 weeks ago
Don't you need to have reached puberty before being able to father a child?
VampireDiaries4ever
29 weeks ago
I didn't think that two vaginas equalled one baby, but OK...
SmoshGoddess
29 weeks ago
Ugh I HATE justin beiber with a capital H-A-T-E!!! I hope he is the father just for laughs lol
SmoshGoddess
29 weeks ago
Ugh I HATE justin beiber with a capital H-A-T-E!!! I hope he is the father just for laughs lol
JustMe93
29 weeks ago
No, I know I mean who's the father, Juno?
Umm... It's Paulie Bleeker.
Paulie Bleeker?
What?
I didn't think he had it in him.
ThePersonBehindYou
29 weeks ago
This is the best thing the news have reported since Kim Kardashian's "divorce" X'DD
BrotherBreath
29 weeks ago
This makes me want to facepalm myself repeatedly at the fails of this generation.
xxSmoshy97xx
29 weeks ago
OH Please!! The Bitch Is Lying!!
alyssalalaa
29 weeks ago
i REALLY hope its his kid, that would be funny as fuckkk hahahaha
cschwery
29 weeks ago
haha love your comment Bokdil great reference lol
bloodygoddess15
29 weeks ago
I think we need a form of the potter pill for beliebers. It might take care of a lot of problems.....
Bokdil
29 weeks ago
Mariah is not my lover.. AU... She's just a girl that claimes that I am the one! But the kid is not my son! OUHOUH! YEAH...
ravenclaw1991
29 weeks ago
lol I saw this on the news earlier. so stupid. Girls can't get other girls pregnant! WTF?