First World Problems (That Are Still Serious Problems)

Can we be frank for a moment? People have it pretty easy in America. When they're not stocking up on eggplant parmesan during sales at Trader Joe's, American people spend most of their time not being pulled over by the police. But that doesn't mean that sometimes, only sometimes, the problems first worlders experience are actual problems. And here's why!

 

Blogging

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1st World Problem: The CMS editor on my blog won't work!

If I can't update my blog, how will my readers know my thoughts on the European debt crisis or my recipe for Oreo truffles? Quick hint: Use SEMI- sweet chocolate chips! ;)

 

Sleeping

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1st World Problem: The second blanket on my bed keeps getting bunched up underneath my body.

YOU try getting comfortable in this wretched situation! You know, I almost think it would be easier to sleep on a piece of cardboard in an alleyway due to economic hardships night after night, you know?

 

Roommates

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1st World Problem: My roommate leaves his laptop in the breakfast nook.

Now it looks like I'm eating my french toast in the Matrix. The breakfast nook isn't for computers, okay Alexander?

 

Coffee Orders

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1st World Problem: Starbucks gave me a decaf double foam latte instead of a decaf no foam latte.

Now there's a TON of extra foam to drink! This is the worst thing that can happen, because drinking foam is like drinking the ghost of coffee.

 

Cell Phones

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1st World Problem: My iPhone 4 is basically useless now that the 4S is out.

I could talk at my iPhone until I'm blue in the face and it won't EVER set even a single reminder or alarm! This phone is going out the car window next time I go for a drive.

 

Public Exercising

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1st World Problem: There's a weird guy who uses the apartment building gym at the same time as me.

This problem gets DEADLY serious when you realize it's up to you to tell this guy "Hey man, can you wipe down the machines when you're done? No offense or anything, but you leave them smelling like you, and you smell like the catcher's mitt from a sport that hasn't been invented yet."

 

Twitter

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1st World Problem: I haven't been retweeted in DAYS.

There are literally people who have no food to feed their children tonight.

 

Helping the Less Fortunate

1st World Problem: The forms to begin sponsoring a starving African child take a LONG time to fill out.

White people aren't heartless. They know others are less fortunate than they are, but when you try to help out, man oh man! They send you, like, three pages to read and sign! Don't they know I have important things to do, like making Oreo trouffles for the office potluck?!

What 1st World Problems do you have? And why are they much, MUCH more important that the term "1st World Problems" suggests? Complain about them in the comments!

Check Out My 6 Worst First-World Problems!