FMLife: Bathroom Edition!
The bathroom is gross. It is! It is so so gross! Even the fact that it exists in our life makes me uncomfortable. And never, not EVER, will humankind be free of this grossness! In fact, it's only going to get grosser as we go! Ohhhhh FML, am I right? AUGH.
Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML
Midi-chlorian count is high
Today, I walked in on my sister sitting on the toilet, trying to use "The Force" to pull over the toilet paper roll sitting on the sink. FML
Cute little whiskers though!
Today, I discovered the hard way that all the scary stories I'd heard about rats getting into pipes and finding their way into your toilet are, in fact, true. FML
Grandmas don't give warnings
Today, there was no toilet paper left, so I asked my grandmother if I could use her Kleenex tissues. I found out too late that they were Vicks vapor rub tissues. My crotch has been burning for the last half hour. FML
I've made a huge mistake
Today, like every other day this past week at Bonnaroo, I've been placing my belongings in the cubbyhole inside the portapotties as I use. Today, I also learned that those "cubbyholes" are urinals. FML
It can be good to be paranoid
Today, my husband told me that he never washes his hands after using the bathroom because he thinks it's only for "paranoid people". FML
He's got the RHYTHM
Today, my fiancé played Rockband drums from the bathroom while taking a crap. He actually managed to properly hit notes. FML
Burns like revenge
Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML
Time to logout
Today, I read some funny scribblings on a wall in the bathroom stall. My first instinct was to "Like" it. FML
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