Games They Need To Make For Kinect So It Stops Sucking

The idea behind the Kinect is awesome: using your actul body movements to swing video game swords or fire video game lasers. But most of the games so far are about as exciting as playing a Wii video game where the object is to get your character to eat a bowl of salad as politely as possible. Here are some games that Microsoft should make ASAP if it wants to actually make the Kinect rad:

 

B0NER Fighter 

A game where a corrupt King has assembled the twelve best fighters in the world to come together and fight for their very lives. They must battle one-on-one, until only one fighter is left, that fighter may return home their family. There is only one rule: you must fight with your B0NER. Kinect players must get and keep a boner while fighting Street-Fighter style to determine who is the greatest erection-fighter alive.

 

Halo: Give Them The Bird Edition

It's Halo, except this new race of aliens threatening the universe can only be killed by being given the finger.

 

Cat Throwing Spree

Bank Robbers have taken control of the city! They are wearing bullet proof vests, so the only way to defeat them is to throw cats at them as hard as you can! You'll need to own a lot of cats to play this game, but trust me, it will be worth it.

 

German Shepherd Throwing Spree

Exactly like "Cat Throwing Spree," but for people who like more of a challenge.

 

Frenzied Polar Bear Throwing Spree

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The third game in the "Cat Throwing Spree" series. Whatever you do, do not buy this game.

 

Hot Chick Aliens: The Game

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Alien hot chicks are here to conquer planet Earth, and there is only way to defeat them: they must be licked to death.

 

Devil May Cry: Cantado De Intoxicado

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Dante's newest opponents are the deadliest he has ever faced. Experts at all forms of traditional combat, they can predict any move that a warrior trained in any traditional way might make in a fight and defeat them. In order to win, Dante must get so drunk that he doesn't know what the hell he's doing and then fight them, that way he's totally unpredictable. So the more drunk a player is when they play, the better the chance they have of winning, since the more flailing and stumbling they do the more confused their opponents will be.

 

What other games would be rad on the Kinect? Let us know in the comments!

 

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