Ghost vs. Cat - What's Haunting Your House?
Sometimes unexplained phenomenon is the result of a ghost or a demon, and sometimes it's just the cat. Here's how to figure out what's living at your house: ghost/demon or kittycat.
Here’s your first tip: This is a ghost
This is a cat
This is a ghost cat
Still not sure what's causing the ruckus at 3 a.m.? Good thing we are here to help!
1. When You Call The Cat, Does The Devil Meow Back?
If you call kitteh, and he meows back, all is well. But if a voice roars back at you loud enough to shake the windows, then the devil lives in your house (or your cat).
2. Do The Curtains Move When There’s No Breeze?
Although ghosts can certain make the curtains flutter, it isn’t very scary, so they probably wouldn’t bother. It could be a monster, but it’s more likely that the pussy is playing peek-a-boo—or shredding the hell out of the curtains.
3. Do You Wake Up With Unexplained Scratches?
If the scratches are small and on your face, chest or neck, then your kitty hates you. If you wake up with mysterious symbols carved on your back, then a demon was probably spooning you.
4. Is The Dog Acting Weird?
Dog chasing cat = normal. Dog barking at cat = normal. Dog barking at invisible being = paranormal.
5. Do You Need An Exterminator?
Kittycats are good at chasing and killing flies, so if you see one or two, you can relax and let kitty have her fun. But if your house is infested with huge swarms of hellflies, you probably need a priest to take care of your insect problem.
6. Where Did All That Dirt Come From?
Kittycats love to play with potted plants, and they often knock bits of soil onto the carpet. That’s normal. If, however, you see muddy footprints trailing chunks of grave dirt, then you probably have a resurrected zombie living at your house.
7. What The Firetruck Is On The Wall????
Kitties love to scratch the wallpaper. Evil ghosts, however, scratch messages on the walls or write them in dripping blood. If the damage looks like shredded wheat, it’s the kitteh. If “GET OUT” is written on the wall in foot-high letters, you should probably take the advice and move.
8. The Kitchen Is Misbehaving
Kittycats often knock things around when they’re playing with toy mice and bits of wadded up paper, but no matter how clever they are, they can’t stack the kitchen chairs in a gravity-defying pyramid. No, that’s the work of a poltergeist.
9. Creepy Critters Are Crawling On The Ceiling
I don’t know which is scarier, a possessed creature crawling across the ceiling to eat my soul or ceiling cat watching me…
So what's haunting your house? Tell us in the comments!