Giant Babies Are Eating Me Right Now

Listen.

I hate to be a burden, but giant babies are eating me right now.

Hey I know you're busy with your lunch, that antipasto salad was a great choice by the way (I've been here before), but if you could lend a hand I'd really appreciate it.

Perhaps if I told you what happened, why I got into this predicament it would sway you to perhaps, at least try to give a tug and see if I can be wrenched free from the babie's mouth. Or maybe distract it, so that I could grab something sharp and try to defeat it while it has its attention focused elsewhere.

Well, what happened was I was going to the bank to make a deposit when I heard a sound in an alley near the bank. I walked into the alley to investigate, and there were two 18 foot tall giant human babies pawing through the trash.

What i should have done was run, but instead of that I approached them to ask if I could be of any assistance. I couldn't have made a worse mistake. One of them immediately grabbed me and put me in his mouth, then the other one started giggling and pulling on my hair.

Then they stormed down the street with me still being suckled on by the larger one. And they stopped here because they seemed to have gotten distracted by a bird or something.

Anyway, he doesn't have any teeth, since he's a baby, but he is gumming me rather hard, and he has very powerful saliva that seems to be dissolving my flesh, so I mean, any help at all would be greatly appreciated.

No? You're busy on the phone. OK, well, I understand that. It looks like this might be the end of me then. Anyway, have a nice lunch, and once the babies have consumed me, I would recommend running as fast as you can. Because who knows whether their hunger be sated on me alone?

 

What would you do if Giant Babies were eating you? Let us know in the comments!

 

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