Horrible Things About Being An Adult They Don't Teach You In School
Being an adult isn't all it's cracked up to be. You can do whatever you want, but all of a sudden there all these things called consequences that basically blow. Not to mention your body starts to suck at working. And you go bald A LOT earlier than they tell you you will. But boy is that not all. There's tons of reasons being an adult is worse than you think it will be, such as:
You Think You're Right Way More Of The Time
You know how adults are always accusing teenagers of thinking they know everything? That's a load of sh*t. Adults do that pretty much 24/7, and I would say 90% of the time they do it wrong. Myself included. I was positive for years that if I grafted a third eye onto my forehead I would gain the gift of telepathy. Any time anyone told me I was wrong I blew them off by saying, "Listen, bub, I'm an adult and so I know what's what." Now here I am with a badly stapled on third eye, no telepathy, and a really bad smelling forehead.
Cats Leap At You
Apparently adults produce a pheromone in much larger quantities than children and teens do that drives cats into a rage filled frenzy. That's why most of the time when you're walking around where adults are you'll see them fighting off large numbers of cats.
Bald At 25
Craploads of guys who thought, based on what movies and TV told them, that guys don't start going bald until they're 50 are shell shocked to find that at 25 their hair is already starting to thin. It's upsetting, and society should certainly be more honest so so many guys aren't taken by suprise. Even more disconcerting: most women go completely bald by the time they are 22.
A Lot More Periods
For women, every year after they turn 26 they get one more period a month until they turn 40, when they reach menopause. Think about what that means ladies, that means that by the time you're 37 you'll have over 10 periods a month. That's why all women between the ages of 35 and 40 are completely bed ridden, incapable of doing anything but flinching and screaming for more Midol.
You're Supposed To Have And Take Care Of Children
How the hell are you supposed to take care of children? You were just a child yourself. Trust me, when you're an adult you don't "feel like an adult," whatever the hell that means. You still feel like you did in high school a lot of the time, and sometimes you feel like a baby. Most of your 20's will be spent huddled in the fetal position on the floor crying because your last tweet didn't get enough favorites. That's the last kind of person who should take care of children. Your 30's, however, will be spent in a serene state of low calm happiness, assured in the knowledge that you have to a large degree figured out who you are and where you want to go. Then the day you turn 40 you get tons of nose hair, your liver stops working, and you fart dirt when you smile.
You Have To Earn Money
Nothing is worse than this. Capitalism and accruing money is the death of fun. Every month you get poorer because your student loans grow way faster than your bank account, and whenever you think about going on vacation to have to remember that you can't because your tire just popped and you need to spend your last 40 bucks to patch it. A few adults escape this being being born rich, but then they have to dress like this all the time:
How else is being an adult a living hell? Let us know in the comments!