How To Ask Out A Barista
It makes sense that you’d want to date your barista. He or she is paid to smile at you, ask how your day is going, and leave you feeling happier than you were when you walked in. But how do you actually do the actual asking out, actually? Here are some tips beyond the ol’ sit-and-stare-until-they-feel-sorry-for-you.
Put Your Number In The Tip Jar
Just what your barista wants to collect at the end of the day… not money, but… the number of someone who is withholding money until you guys go on a date! It’s like a treasure hunt!
Spill Hot Coffee All Over Yourself
Aside from the obvious instant wet t-shirt contest you’ll be instigating, the coffee will most likely scald you. You’ll know it’s true love if your barista drops what he is doing to take you to the hospital.
Order A Latte And Read Into It
A heart? For me? I FEEL THE SAME WAY!?! Wait, now it’s looking more like a leaf. I’m just gonna take this to go…
Intercept A Laptop Theft
Okay, you might have to hire a friend and stage this one, lest you actually put yourself in harm’s way. But if you’re able to pull this off, you’ll look like a modern-day saloon cowboy. Your barista will have no choice but to fall into your arms and allow you to carry her off into the sunset. Because that’s the logical progression of events when someone goes to steal a laptop when someone else is in the bathroom. (I’ve never seen it happen, have you?)
Seductively Eat A Cake Pop
…whatever this means to you. Then offer to pick the crumbs up. If your barista didn’t get what you were doing before, at least you’ll get points for being a considerate customer.
Say Your Name Is “Will You Go Out With Me?”
That way, when your order is ready, the barista will have to ask YOU out! That would be so much better than having to go through any of the above.
Can you think of other ways to ask out a barista? Let us know in the comments!