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How to Beat a Traffic Ticket

Posted By: Sarah on 04.22.10

So you are driving along just fine. Or slightly just fine, at least. Whichever. Suddenly, you see those flashing lights. You are getting pulled over.

Don’t start freaking out, because there are some great ways to get out of the situation without a ticket. Trust me.

Confusion

When asked why you were stopped, NEVER know why. Always seem confused.

Inquiring if you were speeding or if you drove straight through that stop sign “back there” makes you sound guilty. Be confused.

Bathroom

You need to use the bathroom in a very disastrous way. In a very number 2 sort of way.

You have severe stomach problems and you can’t control what is coming out of your body. Allude to being unclear if it is "coming out" now.

Cry

Think of something sad. Maybe a $200 speeding ticket is enough. Maybe you need to channel that time your cat died when you were five. Whatever. Just get some tears going.

Period

Females have the misfortune of having 'that time of the month', but also the wonderful fortune of using it as an excuse for a number of things.

You did whatever you did because your tampon was about to destroy the seat of your car or you are in a rush to get pads. Most police officers are males and males will never truly understand the female reproductive system.

Use this to your advantage. (Note: If the cop is female, abort mission.)

Flee

Run or drive away as fast as you can. Go into hiding or have officers pursue you in a high-speed chase. Best-case scenario: you get away. Worst-case scenario: you end up (in)famous and on the news. Win/win.

Kinda'

Lie

Make up a really sad or dramatic story that caused you to do what you did. Make it good and make it evoke empathy. It doesn’t hurt to add crying to this.

Truth

This is a novel idea. Try explaining what actually happened and why. It’s worth a shot.

Cleavage

Truly the best way to get out of a speeding ticket. Always have some cleavage handy. And use it for good. Not evil.

Tags: article, funny, photos, traffic tickets

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91 Comments

Post new comment

old_pedo

12 weeks ago

i love the last pic.

xXamiliapondXx

22 weeks ago

phh the last one is a lie, everyone knows that girls use there boobs for evil

ZachLongVEVO

42 weeks ago

yay cleavage!

Citasm1367

47 weeks ago

or the same sex, i dont judge

Citasm1367

47 weeks ago

if the officer is of the other sex, tell them you were waiting all day to be pulled over by them

Imluciee

56 weeks ago

the cleavage thing also helps you to get into a movie your'e to young to see ....
i would know ;)

dllmcg

62 weeks ago

for guys clevage just pull down your pants

Skullrayge

66 weeks ago

jugs = :D tactic = will always work unless woman cop or ur a dude

marko93

67 weeks ago

damn those are some juicy jugs!

CassieBlue13

67 weeks ago

guys:no shirt, no service...girls:no shirt, free drinks! why i love being a girl!

superLm07

69 weeks ago

i hope u r all guys

smoshisawsome:D

70 weeks ago

last one is a WIN btw i only clicked on this page cause i saw boobies

shibuto

81 weeks ago

FOLLOW THESE STEPS 1. COVER YOUR MOUTH WITH YOUR HAND 2. WHISPER A WISH INTO YOUR HAND 3. POST THIS ON TO TEN OTHER COMMENTS 4. NOW LOOK AT YOUR HAND

takano

84 weeks ago

wow cleavage is great!!! but what if U R a dude?? sorry pal, get a ticket...
u r worhtless without your shirt hahaha

2stoopid4school

84 weeks ago

there are 28 comments talking about the tits and how ppl r getting bon3rs, what a great country we live in today

olorguy

84 weeks ago

i like the last CLEVAGE

2stoopid4school

84 weeks ago

80% of the people read this just for the boobs, the other 20% are women lol

Victoria_Shane

87 weeks ago

if your a man you can just show ur man bewbs

Mino239

91 weeks ago

There's a pic of George Bush in the "Confusion" area!!! LOL

tha pancake

93 weeks ago

i just klicked it for the bewbs

LittleBigLoser

93 weeks ago

I think the cleavage is your best shot

ocarina of time

94 weeks ago

nice

BoxMan_80.0

95 weeks ago

the last ones my fave

zenman

96 weeks ago

brittnney, they are pervs for commenting about the last one, but its not their fault it was posted...

Lmaorofl

97 weeks ago

for the last one, what if it a female not a male?

brittnney

97 weeks ago

you all are sick staring at her boobs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you all are perverts!!!!!

zenman

99 weeks ago

my mom never got a speeding ticket thanks to crying...lol

sklanaj

99 weeks ago

i looooooooooooooove the last one

mowhawkilla

99 weeks ago

go BOOBIES!!!

mowhawkilla

99 weeks ago

go BOOBIES!!!

aquafg

100 weeks ago

the last one worked for yvette (my friend)

adam619

100 weeks ago

I'd fall for the last one

j100

100 weeks ago

ftp

rebok

101 weeks ago

Rofl the period one worked for my sister xD

DarkWolf_2006

101 weeks ago

I can tell you right off that most of these just will not work. I know this because I have a lot of friends and several family members who are cops. They get stupid responses all the time, they know w

nickabba

102 weeks ago

i LOVE the last one

Axel1723

103 weeks ago

BIG BOOBIES lol

Master7

103 weeks ago

dont pretend to be confused they will think your drunk, fake a stroke if your dying they wont need to give a ticket (downside: you may have to fake a coma for a few years, but its lots of sleep)

Fusaaa

103 weeks ago

im pretty sure if a guy pulls the period card itll fall under a new category...EXTREME CONFUSION

jcj123

106 weeks ago

the button on the big boobs ladys shirt: omg omg omg im gonna split (that wouldnt be a prob for me)

jcj123

106 weeks ago

woowoo

Smosh15000

106 weeks ago

i wundr wat would happen if u fliped off the cop az u were driving away