How To Get Celebrities To Tweet At You

Back in 1950s America, my grandfather defined success as having an honest job to pay the bills, a reliable car to take the boys to baseball games every Saturday during the season, and a sturdy wife to make pot roast every evening. But we've come a long way. Nowadays, we define success by twitter followers. But how is easy is it to hit a Twitter wall? I was stuck at 160 followers for two years before I learned the secret trick to increasing Twitter followers- get celebrities to tweet at you! Then other people see your Twitter name, find your profile, respond to you, and eventually... well, you know how Twitter works. Here are some bona fied celebrities and how you can trick them into tweeting at you.

 

Jessica Simpson (@JessicaSimpson)

If you're nice to her, she'll be nice to you. That is her way. Just don't use any capital letters or punctuation. They frighten her.

Ugh. I guess use abbreviations, too.

 

Any Politician At All (let's say @algore)

Just agree with their positions and you're in.

 

Kanye West (@kanyewest)

Tweet at Taylor Swift.

 

The Kid From Glee (@chriscolfer)

Apparently the only way to get a tweet from that Glee kid is to be a cast member of the show Glee and not die for a year.

 

Jimmy Fallon (@jimmyfallon)

It's a well known fact that Jimmy Fallon spent his time at SNL laughing during sketches. If you mention anything he ever did on SNL, he must crack up whenever he thinks about anything he did on SNL! Don't laugh it is a serious disease!

 

The Rock (@TheRock)

The only way to get a retweet from The Rock is to set yourself up in a Loser Leaves Twitter matchup (#LoserLeavesTwitter) with a friend (I'm in one with @ASubtleRuse) where the only way to win is to get a retweet from The Rock. Then you have no choice- if you don't get a retweet from The Rock, your twittering days are over! I haven't gotten The Rock to retweet me yet, but here's what I've tried so far:

First, I tried a straight-up compliment -

Then I played the same hashtag games The Rock was, hoping he would read mine. For instance, the other day The Rock was tweeting #ClassicMovieLines, so I went with one from The Tooth Fairy -

And finally, I made an appeal to The Rock's Wrestlemania opponent, John Cena -

I hope one of these strategies works and I don't have to leave Twitter. God I love twittering.

 

Shaq (@SHAQ)

The best way to get a tweet from Shaq is to pretend you're his aunt and have mysteriously disappeared.

 

Hermione (@EmWatson)

She's all into magic and sh*t. If you pretend to be a wizard, Hermione is going to respond to your tweets.

Have you ever gotten retweeted by a celebrity? Are you now best friends with said celebrity? Tell us in the comments!

 

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