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How To Get A Valentine

Posted By: Jessica Poter on 02.10.12

Valentine’s Day, Valentine’s Day, Valentine’s Day. It’s like that all-star older sister who needs to take a football to the face. But this saccharine holiday happens every year, so I guess we should play along. If you don’t already have one, here are some ways to get a valentine!

Hang Around The Cards Aisle

(source)

Go to your local Walgreens or CVS or whatever, you know the spot, and just chill in the cards aisle. Tell passersby you’ll bone them if they buy you the big one. Demeaning and potentially dangerous? Yes. But you have to take risks for love!

Eat An Entire Box Of Candy Hearts

(source)

Smash an entire box of that sugary crap in one sitting, and you will feel like you can do anything. With this newfound self-confidence, go ask someone out! Hell, ask everyone out! You can go on a running-in-circles date! Wheeeee!

Crash An Elementary School Class

(source)

Bet you didn’t realize that our nation’s schools promote polyamory, but it’s true. Some teachers go so far as to require their kids to give a valentine to every single person in the class. Hang around long enough and you’re bound to receive one of those mass-produced cards.

Get With Her Friends

The Spice Girls laid it all out for you. “If you want to be my lover, you gotta get with my friends.” What are you waiting for? Do it!

Ask If He/She Is Celebrating Valentine’s Day

(source)

The conversation will go a little something like this. “Hey, are you celebrating Valentine’s Day?” “Nah, I don’t have a valentine.” “Yeah, same.” *awkward pause* “So, how do you feel about prix fixe meals?”

Write In The Comments Section

(source)

Smosh loves you all and thinks everyone should be happy this Valentine’s Day. Let us know if you want to be our Valentine, and it will be so! Smooches!

Check Out 20 Unusable Valentine's Day Cards!

Tags: get, how, to, valentine

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551 Comments

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smosh_4-ever

1 week ago

i wanna be the girl in the last pic. :D
love you guys!! <3

LIVLOVESMOSH

8 weeks ago

Oh smosh <3 i love u guys so!

PotterNERD

13 weeks ago

How do you 2 amazing hunks not have valentines if you can't get anyone then there is no hope for commoners like us :' (

RingoMcCartney

13 weeks ago

Omg yes Smosh! :O

Siri_Irisx

14 weeks ago

omg are you kidding smosh?! who wouldnt want to be your valentine?! <3 <3 <3

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14 weeks ago

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ThwWolfGirl1234567

14 weeks ago

i wanna be your guys' valentine :D :D :D :D :D :D

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14 weeks ago

I wanted a valentine! *tears* *sniffles* but I'm okay now! Unless a certain Ian or Anthony wants to...oh,i don't know...volunteer or something! :D

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14 weeks ago

I Wouldve loved to be your valetine.... ;~;

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14 weeks ago

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14 weeks ago

Dear Ian and Anthony,
even when i was going through a very stressful time in my life, and a very easy time in my life, you would always bring a smile to my face. I am very glad you uh.... exist I guess so out of everyone, I would LOVE for YOU to be my valentineS.

Griff48432

14 weeks ago

lol love this crap but imma dude so not on valentines card

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14 weeks ago

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14 weeks ago

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14 weeks ago

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14 weeks ago

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topez1995

14 weeks ago

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Without Smosh, Im dead,
Will you be my Valentine's instead? (: <3

mrs.hecox-smosh

14 weeks ago

Dear Ian,

Of course I wanna be ur Valentine! You seem so sweet and funny! Anything I could ask for in a guy. I know we live many miles apart, but I will always be thinking about you and never give up on my dream of meeting you and Anthony. <3

jtw16163

14 weeks ago

i just spent my valentines day watching spic girls alone on my computer.....

FallonTanner1

14 weeks ago

I wanna be ur valentine!!!!!!!!!!

Richalvarez Fan

14 weeks ago

Hahahaha! I laughed so hard at the last one because I actually had tagged Anthony in a set of valentines I posted on facebook just before I read this!

louieblu

14 weeks ago

i would love to be the guys' valentine!

smoshrox1127

14 weeks ago

I would DEFINITELY be you guy's valentine

musiclovah980

14 weeks ago

OMFG ME!!!!!!!!!!!! I POSTED IN THE COMMENTS!!!! PLZ BE MEEEEEEEEEEE

the smosh killjoy

14 weeks ago

i only got stuff from my friends :P and not all of them got me stuff i hat valentines day worst holiday ever :(

the host

14 weeks ago

roses are red
violets are not
compared to hilary clinton
your kinda hot

thisxisxsammi

14 weeks ago

Will one of you be my Valentine? =)

.....

Please? =(

......

*Forever Alone*

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AbigailEpicness

14 weeks ago

Roses Are Red,
Violets Are Blue,
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invaderzim2011

14 weeks ago

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Ian is cool
But dont worry Anthony, you are to!
I love you both a bout dis much <-----(^.^)------>
And you two are my secret crush.
You make me laugh everyday,
So will you be mine this Valentines Day?
(p.s. please follow me on twitter it make my heart flutter. :)
https://twitter.com/nataliatravers )

WhoTheHellisAnthony

14 weeks ago

Hey guys! I'd like to be your Valentine so I don't have to "celebrate" Forever Alone Day today ;) Thanks!

Kmcleod

14 weeks ago

i dont have a valentine :(

so...

happy tuesday everyone!

NakedUnderMyClothes

14 weeks ago

Just kidding, I really think Ian is the cutest ;D
I don't celebrate Valentines Day, though.

NakedUnderMyClothes

14 weeks ago

Dear Ian,

Since I've got lot less competition if I pick you,
Will you be my valentine, bitch?

kattfoxx77

14 weeks ago

I kept trying to throw hints to this guy I like that I want him to ask me out but I had no luck :(
valentines day is depressing for me.
But not if you guys were my valentine!!! :D

the smosh killjoy

14 weeks ago

:( its valentines day yet i have no valentine :( sad just sad

billyAUS

14 weeks ago

FEAKIN USLESS

smoshluverr44

14 weeks ago

Smosh! ♥ will you be my valentine? （＾Ｏ＾☆♪♥

animeman1234567890

14 weeks ago

SMOSH PLZ BE MY VALENTINE BY COMMENTING ON MY CHANNEL OR SENDING ME A MESSAGE ON YOUTUBE MY NAME ON YOUTUBE IS ELCHULOGRUMPY orhttp://www.youtube.com/user/elchulogrumpy?featur e=mhee
foloow this link its also my b-day to and this will be the best present ever in my life!!!!!

maggynoriega

14 weeks ago

allright allright! i'll be both your valentine's