How To Go On A Date (After The Apocalypse)

Post Apocalyptic romance novels are all the rage these days. A girl and a guy meet up amidst the ashes of a destroyed civilization and then do it with each other. But is that how a post-apocalyptic romance would really go? Here are the things that would actually happen:

 

They Would Meet

The novels have that part right. A handsome man and beautiful young woman, both sweaty and tired from foraging would glance at each other from across the road.

 

Then They Would Immediately Start Shooting At Each Other

Terrified at the danger another living person presents to their precious food stores they would use their makeshift weapons and fire at each other while making as much noise as possible to scare them.

 

The Guy Would Get Shot And Die

The woman would turn out to be a better marksman and hit the guy with a handmade crossbow bolt in the chest.

 

She Would Raid His Food Stores

Seeing that she felled her opponent she would rush, stomach rumbling from hunger, and take what few dirty banged up cans of rations he had for herself.

 

While She Was Raiding His Food Stores The Radiation Would Bring Him Back To Life As A Zombie

He would come back to life and, hungry for brains, go after her. She would be busy trying to decide whether his canned peaches had gone bad and be taken by surprise.

 

Luckily A Giant Mutant Rat Would Attack The Handsome Zombie

And while the two of them were struggling she would make her escape, leaving behind the precious food stores in fear for her life.

 

On The Way Back To Her Hideout She Would Be Captured By Raiders

And forced to fight in arena battles against mutant ants and cats. Eventually she would win enough to be declared champion of the arena, the prize for which is to be eaten by the Mutant King. 

 

What else would really happen in a post-apocalyptic romance? Let us know in the comments!

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