How Harry Potter Characters Would Handle Getting Picked For The Hunger Games

Harry Potter and his friends were able to beat back the cruel insanities of He whose name we dare not speak and save Hogwarts from total destruction. Which is pretty cool, I guess. But how would they fair pitted to the death against 24 random children?

 

Dobby

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He'd be so nervous he'd accidentally trip over himself while waiting for the game to start and blow himself to pieces.

 

Ron Weasley

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He'd get beheaded three seconds into the game at the Cornucopia and the boy from District 1 would wear his head like a hat for the rest of the games.

 

Hermione Granger

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She would be really hot and lay in her underwear the river sun bathing and she would ask to marry me and I would say yes.

 

Draco Malfoy

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He'd act all tough and shoot off a few snazzy looking spells and then die in the woods in fifteen minutes from eating a poison frog because he has no idea how to take care of himself.

 

Severus Snape

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He'd pretend to team up with the douchenozzle tough kid districts, brutally murder lots of children to hide that he's actually not on their side, then at the last minute reveal he was on District 12's side all along.

 

Dumbledore

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He'd yawn a bunch, then feel bad about having to kill everybody, then kill everybody. Also he'd totally be crushing on the mean-looking hot boy frim District 4.

 

Harry Potter

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Harry Potter's overwelming, powerful sense of fair play would mean that he'd hold himself to not using any magic whatsoever to win the games. With his natural leadership abilities, charisma, and innate belief in justice as his only weapons he would stride down to the center of the field, climb the cornucopia, shout loudly at everyone that if we, "Work together, instead of fighting one another, we can accomplish anything," then almost immediately be murdered off the cornucopia by an arrow.

 

How would other Harry Potter characters fare in the arena, what would they do? Let us know in the comments!

 

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