How To Insult People In Foreign Countries
Summertime is coming and while most of us are making plans to twiddle our thumbs and maybe watch all 6 seasons of Lost again… some of the luckier folk are planning their trips abroad. They are not only picking out the restaurants and tourist spots they’ll hit but they are also brushing up on some foreign language basics they might need overseas. Sure you need to know how to say “Where’s the nearest bathroom?” and “Are you sure this is legal in your country?” but a few insults are definitely a good idea to add to your repertoire. Because when some foreign dude calls you a porky American slob, you might wanna throw one of these back at him!
Insult: Piss Artist
Meaning: An Unstable Drunk Who Pisses Themselves
Leave it to the Irish to have a high-falutin’ word for a drunk! I like the idea of a piss artist… it’s kind of like being the Jackson Pollack of ‘pee splatter on your jeans’ paintings. You could see it as a humiliating life experience but I prefer to think of it as a Master-piss! (Sorry! I couldn’t resist)
Meaning: Pig Dog
This word means pig-dog and is a big insult in Germany. Now, if someone called me a pig I would probably lock myself in my room with a pint of Chunky Monkey and a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos, all the while cursing myself for living up to my pig image. But pig-dog… just makes me laugh. I don’t really get this insult Germany, but I also don’t get the thing you have for David Hasselhoff’s music…so maybe you’re just crazy like that!
Insult: Ham Sep Lo
Meaning: Salty Wet Man
In America you might assume this means that someone is into snorkeling or something, but in China it means you're super duper horny or a pervert!
Insult: Sanjam Da Prdnem Na Tebe
Meaning: I Dream Of Farting On You
In America we dream big when we wanna humiliate someone… we dream of taking them down on Cheaters, or confronting them with a DNA test on Maury Povich. America! Firetruck yeah! But in Bosnia, the worst thing you could do is fart on someone. If that's true, then my cousin Frankie would be the most evil bastard in all of Bosnia.
Insult: Krijg De Kanker
Meaning: Get The Cancer
I like to picture a little wooden-clogged, braided blonde child saying this to me after I drive my bicycle over her bed of tulips. Yes, everything I know about the Dutch comes from a stereotypical tourist-y snow globe someone brought me once. The Netherlands… land of wooden clogs, tulips and oh yeah… legal weed. I’m in!
Insult: A Bog Da Ti Kuca Bila
Meaning: May Your House Be Live On CNN
Basically you are saying that you would like to see the bombed remains of their home on a CNN special breaking news report. Dudes in Bosnia are hardcore d-bags! This is like the NATO version of Yo mama jokes.
Insult: Gou Pi
Meaning: Dog Fart
If someone tells you a bald-faced lie in Taiwan, you can yell ‘dog fart!’ in their face. I think this one could really catch on in America. I plan on yelling it at my boyfriend when I ask him again about how he ‘accidentally’ downloaded the Glee The Music: Presents the Warblers on iTunes.
Insult: Tofu No Kado Ni Atama Wo Butsuke Shinjimae
Meaning: Hit Your Head On A Corner Of Tofu And Die
Better in Japan: Insults! This might seem kind of weak but if you think about it, dying after hitting your head on a corner of Tofu probably takes even longer than a gunshot wound to the stomach would. So it’s actually hardcore brutal. Don’t be surprised when you see someone die this way in the next Quentin Tarantino movie.
Which is your favorite crazy foreign insult? Do you know any other silly ones you can share with us? Let us know in the comments!