How Kratos Would Run a Wendy's Franchise

Running a small business is hard work. Not a lot of people are willing to put in the time and effort needed to make a fast food franchise successful, which is why it's so great to see Kratos, a man who has time and again defied and murdered the Gods, take up this daunting business venture. Here is how Kratos would run a Wendy's franchise.


Introduce new menu items


If there's one thing Kratos has learned from murdering many different gods, it's that you can't rely on what was successful in the past to remain successful going forward. For this reason, Kratos has introduced the new Hamburginator, a burger made from the tender flesh of the fairest women of the land.


Make his payments to the Small Businesses Department of US Bank on time




Deal well with small setbacks


Whenever a guest (Kratos refers to all of his customers "guests") gets a medium combo instead of a large combo Kratos spends hours in the parking lot screaming into the sky, vowing vengeance upon the Gods that have committed this foul destiny upon him.


Run surveys to see what he snd his employees could do better


Even someone as mighty as Kratos has to be self-aware enough to know that he could always do things better. for instance, he ran a survey that asked his customers if they liked the staff wielding a chain-linked blade. When the results came back overwhelmingly "no", Kratos realized that his employees must all wield TWO chain-linked blades.


Make every part of the restaurant-going experience delightful


From the moment you walk into his Wendy's, Kratos ensures you enjoy the entire experience in a thousand little ways, like spending extra money for comfortable booths and replacing toilet paper in the restrooms with live full-grown rabbits.


Hire a great staff


Kratos' staff consists of friendly faces who are great at customer service, like Janie Higgins, a student from the nearby high school, and Chronos, God of Time and devourer of children.


Follow all public health codes

"Let's do this, Health Inspector."


Of course, it's easy to follow all public health regulations when you re-write the health codes with the chunky liquid pulp that used to be the health inspector.

How many gods would you kill to open your own Wendy's? Let us know in the comments!


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