How Life In The Real World Is Different Than On Disney Sitcoms

Ahhh the wonderful world of Disney. Sitcoms. Where every jibe is said with love and affection and every family squabble is over who loves who more. Sure there are some similarities to the real world in Disney sitcoms, like in both the real world and in Disney Sitcoms every child eventually ends up a world famous musician. But not everything is so true to life, so what are the differences?

 

IN THE REAL WORLD:

 

Kids Don't Know Everything

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Unlike in Disney sitcoms kids can't solve all their own problems, once those darn pesky parents get out of the way. Have you ever ead Lord of the Flies? Do you know what happens when "the kids are in charge?" Needless to say, by the end of the week 1 of kids being in charge pretty much everyone has resorted to cannibalism after the kids have spent the last seven days not knowing how to buy groceries.

 

Daddy Drinks

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Dad comes home from a hard day flensing whales and he needs a drink. He needs the hard stuff. And then he needs to pass out, drooling on the TV screen so that when you walk up to play catch he's too busy sleeping and trying to forget that he spent the last 12 hours removing the outer integuments from whales.

 

The Music Business Isn't Adorable

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If Hannah Montana were really a "rock and roller" she'd be spending way, way more of her time waking up in strange mansions she doesn't remember going to, cleaning booze out of her hair, and calling her limo driver to pick her up - but remember to bring a big cup of raw eggs and tabasco sauce - for her "morning headache".

 

Teenagers Mostly Aren't Famous

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Pretty much every teenager in a Disney show somehow ends up in a band, on TV, or otherwise very famous. Most teenagers who try to be famous in real life, however, end up not so much famous and moreso 45 years old regretting their life choices still serving breakfast at their father's restaurant.

 

Competitions For Magic End In Death

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If three siblings had to compete for who got to have magic powers for the rest of their lives they would do anything to get those powers. Two of the siblings would definitely not survive, and the third sibling, driven mad by his or her own bloodlust and what he/she had to do to her rival brothers and sisters to attain her powers would become corrupt and attempt to conquer the world in a vain search for the lost childhood he/she never had.

 

Constant Crazed Stalkers

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In Hannah Montana's "real life" she would be beset by a bizarre cadre of stalkers day and night. She'd get so much crazy mail from obsessed fans that were things like the phrase "I can smell you every time I open the refrigerator" written in lipstick on the back of a box of bullets. The police would be on call 24/7 to keep people from breaking into her house and licking her sweaters.

 

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