How To Make A 'Nice' Comment On A Horrible Facebook Photo
We've all experienced the unexpected horror of a disturbing Facebook photo soiling our feed. You have two choices feel depressed when you see them continue to post sad and desperate photos that no one so much as 'likes' or you can try to leave a comment that is nice without making you too much of a liar. Bonus points if it actually makes them reconsider their bad judgment. Here are six ways you can leave a 'nice' comment on a horrible photo and look like a good person. Feel free to judge and mock in private messages.
Bring Up A Pleasant Memory
Hey you know these people supposedly, right? Take their horrible new habit of posting inappropriate photos as an opportunity to discuss fond memories. For instance, you might say to the girl above "LOL. This reminds me of the time when you ran out of pads and used your granny's adult diapers instead." Don't forget to screencap the image before they take it down in shame! It could be a valuable commodity one day.
Focus On The Decor
I mean what can you say in this circumstance that would be nice about this chick? Maybe something like 'WOW, still on the master cleanse? You look SICK!' might work, but better to focus on something other than her duck face and her heroin chic bod. Try something like 'Did you get that framed print at Walmart? It goes well with the faux-wood cabinets." You'll kind of seem like you care!
If someone is attempting to 'show off' with their extreme sexy fail skills, take it as an opportunity to bring up some of your own talents. "Whoa! If you think that mouth's impressive, then next time I see you, I have to show you my 'two fists, two fingers' trick!" The conversation will definitely turn your way fast! And you'll look like you're bonding with the fail girl! Aren't you sweet?
Take Things Off-Topic
The more boring the better. 'Speaking of unfair distributions of wealth, have you heard the theories I've laid out in my manifesto on the Occupy Wall Street Movement?' Whatever you do don't say something like, "Is that a 100 on top of a stack of dollar bills?" or "Stubborn little crabs!" That would make this guy feel like a d-bag. And clearly he wants to live his life in delusion.
Talk About Their Kid
Seriously? WHY DO PEOPLE DO THIS WITH THEIR KIDS? If you see one of these freak shows pop up in your feed, leave a comment along the lines of "OMG! Is that Andre Jr.?? He looks just like his dad! Passed out in room full of hos!' Okay, maybe leave off that last part. Or does an LOL soften the blow? Either way, make sure you forward the image to her Child Protective Services caseworker.
Be A Little Passive-Aggressive
Sometimes some tough love is needed. But you still don't wanna be mean about it. Because we're good people, right? Try something along the lines of 'Nana. I'm happy you're trying to date again..did you mean to post this on your Match.com profile? BTW I'm sorry I don't come over more, but I just don't share your passion for bondage. I miss when we used to quilt!" I don't know if she'll pick up her knitting needles and put down her whips and ball gag, but hopefully she'll stop posting these therapy-inducing photos. If not, report her old skanky ass to Facebook!
What are some other ways to leave a nice comment on a horrible Facebook picture? Let me know @desijedeikin or in the comments below!