How Resident Evil Monsters Maintain A Positive Outlook Despite Being Horrible Monsters
You know what's worse than being in Raccoon City and getting infected by a bio-organic virus that turns you into a savage monster with no desires besides the primal urge to feed? Being in Raccoon City and getting infected by a bio-organic virus that turns you into a savage monster with no desires besides the primal urge to feed and having a bad attitude about it! Here are some ways the wretched creatures of Resident Evil keep their spirits up!
Find time for their own hobbies
It can get stressful, chasing down Redfields all day every day, but you've got to earn a living, you know? A lot of resident Evil monsters have hobbies of their own that they work on outside of work, like watercolors, needlepoint, or the killing and eating of small dogs.
Eat a whole thing of ice cream in one sitting
There isn't a zombie alive (well, not "alive" but you catch my meaning) who doesn't enjoy sitting back after a long day of shambling to enjoy a carton of ice cream. And it's especially enjoyable now that Ben and Jerry's has released their new flavor Peanut Butter 'n' Limbs.
Talk openly and honestly about their feelings
One way to feel better for a lot of monsters is to talk honestly about whatever is weighing on their minds. Unfortunately, there is rarely anyone to talk to besides the Ganados creatures that burst from their mouths. Great listeners, though.
Hiding cranks all over the place
For some reason, the Umbrella corporation makes it almost impossible to get around without lowering the wooden stairs to the clock tower or raising the water level in the courtyard. I know, it doesn't make sense to me either. The part of this that makes monsters happy though is hiding the most important cranks, like the ones with hexagonal plugs, and seeing the looks on their fellow monster's faces! Sadly, those looks are often of horror at what they've become.
Look at drawings their children made them
Nothing can melt a monster's heart quicker than art made for them by their child. Heck, nothing can melt MY heart quicker than art made for them by their child! Unless the child too has been turned into a monster. Then that child must be destroyed.
Hoarding red and green herbs
Having a box full of green herbs is the Resident Evil equivalent of having a strong 401k. And it's impossible to be upset when you have a strong 401k. In fact, if you frown when you have money in a 401k the economy actually takes money away!
I... I don't know what a 401k is.
Killing and eating humans
Listen, I have to make this clear: Even if they have a positive disposition monsters still want to kill and eat you. Don't go up to them and think you're going to hear an inspirational quote or find a friend to go with you to the water park. These monsters want to eat you even more than they want to go to the water park.
How would you stay on the emotional up-and-up if you were horrifically disfigured by the T-Virus? Let us know in the comments!