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How To Spot A Player


You just met a new guy and he's funny, he's charming, and he's saying all the right things to make you weak in the knees. But how can you tell if he's the real deal...

 

The Edward to your Bella...

Or just a player looking for an easy target?

 


No worries! The following tips will have you sorting the keepers from the gamers in no time.

 

Man of Mystery

A player will be very mysterious about his life and intentionally vague with details like what his work schedule is and who keeps calling his phone. International spies aside (they're a whole other mess), secrecy is rarely a good thing in a guy: if he's not playing games then he's probably an unemployed bum evading debt collectors or a wanted criminal fleeing the police (what's your pleasure?).

 

The Harem

Players go through lots of women and like to have several in the queue at any given time. If your guy has lots of female friends, coworkers, or clients that he mentions, meets with, or runs into often he's likely "working out of more than one office" and you're not the only "sprinkle on his cupcake." (mmm, cupcakes...)

 

Missing in Action

A guy is probably playing the field if he's only available on certain days of the week and/or tends to go MIA for days or weeks on end without explanation. Unless he's a super hero with a secret identity (I heart you, Clark Kent) it's just not worth it.
 

 

Last Minute

Even the smoothest of smooth operators can occasionally double-book or end up with no one to hang (*sleep*) with on a Saturday night. Beware of frequent last minute cancellations, late night booty calls, or dates made spur of the moment (unless of course you also had plans fall through and you're down with it, then you go girly).

 

Prince Charming

Players have had lots of practice and are experts at saying exactly what women want to hear and (even more importantly) sounding like they really mean it. They'll get your attention by either being charming and full of pretty words and flattery or shockingly blunt and kinda crude (why do we like that?).

 

His Awesome Ego

Although he may appear endearingly shy or humble a player really believes he's super awesome and that you should count yourself lucky just to be near him. He'll find subtle ways to fish for compliments draw attention to his awesomeness at every opportunity (lest you forget).


Goal-Oriented

A player will be uber confident and assertive, and won't waste time approaching you and making his intentions clear. Sadly, in this world of awkward and insecure ninny-men it's often hard to turn down such manliness.

 

Good luck ladies!

 

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17 Comments

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56 weeks ago

What about women's being players? There's alot these days...

84 weeks ago

Where the hell are the nose and cheeks of the Prince Charming? Everything is confusing xD

87 weeks ago

*cold

87 weeks ago

haha well my instincts were right about players. so now, we can just enjoy the ride when we get booty calls or whatever, and 'play' back those players, no feelings attached. :P

this world is so col

89 weeks ago

haha love it

89 weeks ago

"ninny-men". HAHA. Reminds me of cotton-headed ninny-muggins.

89 weeks ago

a long long time ago someone booty called me, but i didn't realize what was happening. i made a lot of black jokes. (im not racist, just really dumb)

89 weeks ago

HAHA Will Ferrel didn't get a mustache, that was for one of his movies that happens to be my favorite of his, Anchorman.

89 weeks ago

mmm cupcakes LOL

89 weeks ago

Make room for the cupcake

89 weeks ago

another comparison is the sauce on my ice cream (mmmmme cream). :) lol.

89 weeks ago

I'm a guy, a guy with no girl friend, and a teenager, if a hot girl wants an "easy target" then I will willingly paint a bull's eye on my back and give her the bow.

89 weeks ago

E:

89 weeks ago

Will ferrel has got a molestache :( and a my name is earl eyebrow

89 weeks ago

the guy with the sex shirt is hot