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If Famous Video Game Vehicles Were Real

Posted By: Francesco Marciuliano on 02.21.12

Why settle for just an ordinary car when with a little wishing and a massive restructuring of the automotive industry you could have one of these?

Super Mario's Kart

(source)

Pros: Maneuvers better than most vehicles on space rainbows. Acquires instant speed boosts from just mushrooms. Ability to become tiny helps you drive under toll booth barriers.

Cons: Above attributes clearly the work of stoner mechanics who may or may not have remembered to add brakes or install a GPS unit that doesn’t constantly forget where it’s going.

Halo’s Warthog

(source)

Pros: Great for all terrains, be it off-road or extraterrestrial. Three-seater makes it perfect for those summertime road trips/compound assaults. Back-mounted turret ensures minimal highway tailgating.

Cons: Rarely driven without colossal body count, even when just taken to the market.

Twisted Metal’s Ice Cream Truck

(source)

Pros: Combines the summertime joy of a King Cone or Creamsicle with the Fourth of July joy of unending ballistic explosives.

Cons: Does absolutely nothing to lessen society’s overwhelming fear of clowns and guys who repeatedly drive vans around the neighborhood.

Original Tron's Light Cycle

(source)

Pros: Makes even the most bad*ss Harley about as cool as peddling a Radio Flyer tricycle while your mom yells, “Don’t go too fast or you’ll get the tummy troubles!”

Cons: Ability to steer only in straight lines and hard right angles gives cycle the sure-handed maneuverability of driving an Etch-a-Sketch against oncoming gasoline trucks.

Atari Combat’s Tank

(source)

Pros: Absence of a third dimension has to save on fuel. Can bank-shot projectiles. Surprisingly festive paintjob for an assault vehicle.

Cons: Absence of third dimension limits seating and storage capacity. Bank-shot projectiles have a funny way of returning to their point of origin. Colorful paintjob makes camouflage impossible except when hiding among Easter eggs.

The Legend of Zelda’s Epona

(source)

Pros: Companionship. Out of all the vehicles on this list the easiest to emulate. Can go as a unicorn for Halloween.

Cons: Annual care/feeding/shodding/sheltering/even more medical care/still more feeding/are you serious he needs to be shod again/he needs even more shots of a horse about as cost-efficient as driving a diamond-encrusted blimp.

Which video game vehicle would you wanna drive? Let us know in the comments!

Check Out How To Tell If Your Life Is A Video Game!

Tags: famous, game, kart, mario, real, vehicles, video, were

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46 Comments

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Firetruck man22

12 weeks ago

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Firetruck man22

12 weeks ago

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Quentin719

13 weeks ago

and there is a troop transport hog, which replaces the gun with four seats.

Quentin719

13 weeks ago

The warthog would never have to be refueled, because of it's hydrogen-injected engine, so it would save on gas money. The only foreseeable downside is that it only goes 75mph at the fastest.

nomopo13

13 weeks ago

mine isnt much of a video game vehicle as much as a movie character...

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saganakis

13 weeks ago

I think the Light Cycles. That way I can turn exactly where I want to, when I want to, and make these turns super close to obstacles missing it. If I had to turn normally, I'd hit it.

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13 weeks ago

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smoshfan271098

13 weeks ago

I want Epona, and also that ice cream truck :3

Stealdiesel

13 weeks ago

I would take the warthog..

RJB123

13 weeks ago

You can actually buy the the tron light cycle from thisiswhyimbroke.com

DreamlandDreamer

13 weeks ago

Why is there not the Warpstar from the Kirby series?

But anyways, I would so have a Mario Kart just so I can ride on rainbows in space and in giant pinball machines.

ijustdidurmom123

13 weeks ago

definately Warthog!!

ijustdidurmom123

13 weeks ago

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PokeLink01

13 weeks ago

EPONA!!

jana.smash

13 weeks ago

Epona..is this a name?? cool^^

AlexaDula

13 weeks ago

I liked the mario and zelda ones

DaemonOfSin

13 weeks ago

Actually Epona is an impossibility because of the white mane and tail. Although I'd totally go for the ice cream truck.

Ivan Contreras

13 weeks ago

warthog is the only gd vehicle

Camilx

13 weeks ago

Halo's Warthog >:D yay !

Zenochu

13 weeks ago

Sweet Tooth's ice cream truck kind of exists but got shot up. It's a shame that'd make a hell of a dream car.

smoshjam302444

13 weeks ago

I would drive the Halo Warthog! You stupid nemo anthony! You forgot the banshee and wraith! I would obviously pilot the banshee as well. The Ghost is also cool. Yes I meant to say nemo and not emo even though you (anthony) are emo. and a noob. Ian you are soooooo much cooler. Exept your bowl hair cut sucks. don't take any offence because I love you guys :)

(go firetruck your self's)

DaDominator

13 weeks ago

You forgot Shadow the Hedgehogs RAD motorcycle!

MonkeyMankey_27

13 weeks ago

the banshee hornet tank ghost or the revant from halo 3 and halo reach

smoshfollower 221

13 weeks ago

Sneakers...wait they've invented those already?

mispeldname

13 weeks ago

The Arwing from Star Fox

Zookeeper60881

13 weeks ago

the griffin from world of warcraft

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Zookeeper60881

13 weeks ago

mario's kart

Sonicthemainman

13 weeks ago

All in all, however, I would settle for the Warthog. Besides dead bodies, you'd look beast driving that.

mexicanandproud101

13 weeks ago

I.want.halo's.warthog. I could rule the world with that thing!!XD

Griff48432

13 weeks ago

i'd use epona no matter what the cost :D

Error9000

13 weeks ago

The wyvren from Final Fantasy 2

smartalex531

13 weeks ago

Epona's a girl

flame_alchemist2002

13 weeks ago

the lightcycle IS real..forlike...55,000 dollars o_o

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dianavb

13 weeks ago

Epona <3

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13 weeks ago

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9999fail

13 weeks ago

what about eggman's hover seat i fought that would have been a cool one

fmwarren

13 weeks ago

Having Epona for even a day would and still kick hella ass and wasn't Epona a girl? I'm pretty sure... anyway Atari is out I don't come in two dimentions. Initially it was a good idea. A for effort.

Sneaky Poptart

13 weeks ago

Captain Falcon's Blue Falcon?