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If Famous Video Game Vehicles Were Real

Why settle for just an ordinary car when with a little wishing and a massive restructuring of the automotive industry you could have one of these?

 

Super Mario's Kart

(source)

Pros: Maneuvers better than most vehicles on space rainbows. Acquires instant speed boosts from just mushrooms. Ability to become tiny helps you drive under toll booth barriers.

Cons: Above attributes clearly the work of stoner mechanics who may or may not have remembered to add brakes or install a GPS unit that doesn’t constantly forget where it’s going.

 

Halo’s Warthog

(source)

Pros: Great for all terrains, be it off-road or extraterrestrial. Three-seater makes it perfect for those summertime road trips/compound assaults. Back-mounted turret ensures minimal highway tailgating.

Cons: Rarely driven without colossal body count, even when just taken to the market.

 

Twisted Metal’s Ice Cream Truck

(source)

Pros: Combines the summertime joy of a King Cone or Creamsicle with the Fourth of July joy of unending ballistic explosives.

Cons: Does absolutely nothing to lessen society’s overwhelming fear of clowns and guys who repeatedly drive vans around the neighborhood.

 

Original Tron's Light Cycle

(source)

Pros: Makes even the most bad*ss Harley about as cool as peddling a Radio Flyer tricycle while your mom yells, “Don’t go too fast or you’ll get the tummy troubles!”

Cons: Ability to steer only in straight lines and hard right angles gives cycle the sure-handed maneuverability of driving an Etch-a-Sketch against oncoming gasoline trucks.

 

Atari Combat’s Tank

(source)

Pros: Absence of a third dimension has to save on fuel. Can bank-shot projectiles. Surprisingly festive paintjob for an assault vehicle.

Cons: Absence of third dimension limits seating and storage capacity. Bank-shot projectiles have a funny way of returning to their point of origin. Colorful paintjob makes camouflage impossible except when hiding among Easter eggs.

 

The Legend of Zelda’s Epona

(source)

Pros: Companionship. Out of all the vehicles on this list the easiest to emulate. Can go as a unicorn for Halloween.

Cons: Annual care/feeding/shodding/sheltering/even more medical care/still more feeding/are you serious he needs to be shod again/he needs even more shots of a horse about as cost-efficient as driving a diamond-encrusted blimp.

Which video game vehicle would you wanna drive? Let us know in the comments!

Check Out How To Tell If Your Life Is A Video Game!

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12 weeks ago

How do u send mail to SMOSH?????

12 weeks ago

How do u send mail to SMOSH?????

13 weeks ago

and there is a troop transport hog, which replaces the gun with four seats.

13 weeks ago

The warthog would never have to be refueled, because of it's hydrogen-injected engine, so it would save on gas money. The only foreseeable downside is that it only goes 75mph at the fastest.

13 weeks ago

mine isnt much of a video game vehicle as much as a movie character...

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13 weeks ago

I think the Light Cycles. That way I can turn exactly where I want to, when I want to, and make these turns super close to obstacles missing it. If I had to turn normally, I'd hit it.

13 weeks ago

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13 weeks ago

I want Epona, and also that ice cream truck :3

13 weeks ago

I would take the warthog..

13 weeks ago

You can actually buy the the tron light cycle from thisiswhyimbroke.com

13 weeks ago

Why is there not the Warpstar from the Kirby series?

But anyways, I would so have a Mario Kart just so I can ride on rainbows in space and in giant pinball machines.

13 weeks ago

definately Warthog!!

13 weeks ago

ur mom is giving me a blowjob!

13 weeks ago

EPONA!!

13 weeks ago

Epona..is this a name?? cool^^

13 weeks ago

I liked the mario and zelda ones

13 weeks ago

Actually Epona is an impossibility because of the white mane and tail. Although I'd totally go for the ice cream truck.

13 weeks ago

warthog is the only gd vehicle

13 weeks ago

Halo's Warthog >:D yay !

13 weeks ago

Sweet Tooth's ice cream truck kind of exists but got shot up. It's a shame that'd make a hell of a dream car.

13 weeks ago

I would drive the Halo Warthog! You stupid nemo anthony! You forgot the banshee and wraith! I would obviously pilot the banshee as well. The Ghost is also cool. Yes I meant to say nemo and not emo even though you (anthony) are emo. and a noob. Ian you are soooooo much cooler. Exept your bowl hair cut sucks. don't take any offence because I love you guys :)

(go firetruck your self's)

13 weeks ago

You forgot Shadow the Hedgehogs RAD motorcycle!

13 weeks ago

the banshee hornet tank ghost or the revant from halo 3 and halo reach

13 weeks ago

Sneakers...wait they've invented those already?

13 weeks ago

The Arwing from Star Fox

13 weeks ago

the griffin from world of warcraft

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13 weeks ago

mario's kart

13 weeks ago

All in all, however, I would settle for the Warthog. Besides dead bodies, you'd look beast driving that.

13 weeks ago

I.want.halo's.warthog. I could rule the world with that thing!!XD

13 weeks ago

i'd use epona no matter what the cost :D

13 weeks ago

The wyvren from Final Fantasy 2

13 weeks ago

Epona's a girl

13 weeks ago

the lightcycle IS real..forlike...55,000 dollars o_o

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13 weeks ago

Epona <3

13 weeks ago

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13 weeks ago

what about eggman's hover seat i fought that would have been a cool one

13 weeks ago

Having Epona for even a day would and still kick hella ass and wasn't Epona a girl? I'm pretty sure... anyway Atari is out I don't come in two dimentions. Initially it was a good idea. A for effort.

13 weeks ago

Captain Falcon's Blue Falcon?

13 weeks ago

I was gonna get a horse and name it epons same color with the white socks but i said nah its gonna die

13 weeks ago

The Halo Warthog is real!

Or at least it has been made as a one off.
My friends brother helped make it in weta workshop
and my friend has sat in and driven it.

http://pookieweb.dyndns.org:61129/images/halo/W arthogB110707.jpg

13 weeks ago

It would be interesting to drive Halo’s Warthog.

13 weeks ago

hahaha awesome

13 weeks ago

Gat car in Saints Row 3

13 weeks ago

second

13 weeks ago

first!!!!!!