iPad Apps We Could All Use
There are currently over 140,000 apps available for the iPad. But still there are countless apps that haven’t been created that many of us could use right now.
“Photo Assassin” App
Every day people are posting photos of you on Facebook, yfrog and Flickr, often without your permission and usually at your worst. But by simply uploading a photo of yourself on your iPad, the “Photo Assassin” app would scour the internet and kill such images once and for all. Plus, with the “Reverse Aging” option, it could even eliminate pictures of you as a child, removing such memorable photos as the first time you used the potty and failed spectacularly or your fifth birthday when you tried to blow out your candles only to throw up on your cake, presents and guests.
“Shut Up Already” App
It’s happened to us all. You’re out with a bunch of people when you accidentally say the wrong thing. Then you try to explain what you meant to say only to make it even worse. Before you know it you’ve been talking and sweating non-stop for two straight hours, alienating 147 people and silently wishing God would say, “Enough already” and kill you on the spot. With the “Shut Up Already” app, however, any time any you’re babbling and embarrassing yourself you would get a mild shock. Keep talking and humiliating yourself and it would quietly electrocute you. Still keep talking and ruining your life and it would blow up you and anyone within a five-mile radius who could remember how you made a such an a** out of yourself. Until they invent that, there's always the Smosh Shut Up app.
“Where Did It All Go Wrong?” App
Feel like your life took a wrong turn somewhere or just isn’t how you imagined it would be? This app would let you input a few brief facts about your career, love life and family and then immediately pinpoint the exact moment your life turned into absolute hell. While some prior bad decisions you may not be able to change (drunk parachute-less skydiving), the app could let you know if you can correct your life by renewing an old relationship, relocating to another state or reconsidering getting that untrained, knife-wielding orangutan as a house pet.
“Which Person, Which Lie” App
Everybody tells little white lies. Problem is we usually forget which lies we told to which person, often resulting in someone saying something like “But wait, how could you have been at your grandma’s when you told me you were DJing for the pope that same day?” Thankfully, this app would keep track of every specific fib you told each family, friend or associate. That way the next time you bump into someone you can quickly look at your iPad and confidently know, “Oh right. That’s Jim. I told him I went to Samurai School.”
“Do I Need This?” App
We all have clutter we need to throw out but just can’t part with because of sentimental reasons. The “Do I Need This?” app, though, would make all the hard choices for you. You would just choose one of the many setting between “Light Housecleaning” and “Destroy Everything and Create a New Identity.” Then press “on” and go to sleep. The next morning you’d awake to a spotless home and the smell of smoke as all your unnecessary possessions burn in a giant bonfire in your backyard or—if you live in an apartment—next to your bed.
“Why Won’t They Just Die Already?” App
Sometimes someone gets you frustrated or so angry that you find yourself repeatedly screaming, “Why won’t they just die already?!” Well, the answer could be just a few clicks away. Just type in some vital facts about an individual and immediately you would find out just how much longer you’d have to deal with a person thanks to diet, exercise regime or good genes. Now whether or not you would choose to use such information to poison a certain meal, blow up a certain gym or radically alter someone’s DNA through constant radiation blasts would be your decision. However, the app would be kind enough to tell you when and where a hated person will jogging just in case you happen to be driving 120 mph in the area at the time.
What apps do you wish they had for the iPad? Let us know in the comments!