Japan Introduces New Ice Bras!

Am I too hard on Japan? Are all the wacky inventions they come out with dealing with real life crises that I can't understand here in my American crisis-free apartment? For instance, Japanese underwear firm Triumph Japan just launched an ice-filled bra.


ice bra models
Were Japan's breasts melting?
(source)

The bra features a little fan to bow cool air, gel pads that can be frozen, and a ladle to spoon water on yourself. Is that going to help, Japan? Are people finding themselves where it would be socially appropriate to ladle water on themselves, but just forgot their ladle? Am I going crazy here?! If you use ladles, just carry around a ladle! How does it help to have a ladle in your bra?!


resident evil inventory screen
It's not going to save you inventory slots!
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Triumph insists the bras stay soft despite being frozen. But listen, I'm not an idiot, okay? I know how ice works. When it's frozen, it's hard. Wearing this bra is going to be like walking around with armor on.


brienne of tarth
Looks refreshing.
(source)

I think this is the final piece of data I needed to finish my "How does Japan make products" formula. It would appear as though they have a list of problems, i.e. sticky fingers after cooking, thirst, and cockroach infection, and a list of products, i.e. butter, umbrellas, and slippers, and make every permutation. This is why we have nonsense like butter sticks, rain purifying umbrellas, and cockroach swatting slippers.


japan robot dog
Looks like someone drew "robot" and "loneliness" out of the hat.
(source)

How about some awkward raw footage of the girls modeling the bra?

 

Do you get it? Does an ice bra make sense in your head? Let me know on Twitter or leave a comment below!

 


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