Japanese Teen Uses Twitter To Escape From Bathroom Emergency!
This story starts the way most stories do. It was a lovely morning in Japan, and Japanese teen Twitter user naika_tei was enjoying himself in the bathroom. He was chillin, straight chillin' on that toilet, doing his toilet thing (which involved crapping), when he noticed something was terribly wrong. There was no toilet paper.
At first naika_tei panicked. He dreamed of a variety of plans. Including this one:
Eventually, out of options and out of time, naika_tei looked down at his cell phone. Of course! He shakily bent down and picked up his cell phones. He could feel his bottom needing to be wiped clean. He knew what he had to do.
He tweeted for help, hoping someone on twitter would see his plight and bring toilet paper to where he was. Unfortunately, his first tweet did nothing. No one came. They were probably all too busy going on Gwyneth Paltrow's twitter to see if she had updated her status with any of her usual clever insights such as "I luv Tuesdays! #tuesdays" or, "Eating is better w/ friendz!!! :)"
Gwyneth Paltrow lays against a wall, waiting for someone to hit her in the head with a basketball
Desperate and with nothing left to lose, naika_tei tried one last tweet, put the phone down, and looked around the room for something he could commit ritual suicide with if no one showed up.
Luckily, someone saw his second tweet! The friend brought him toilet paper and naika_tei and his clean a**hole lived happily ever after.
What would you do if you ran out of toilet paper and you had no phone to tweet with? Let us know in the comments!