Japan's Greatest Achievement: The Diamond Toilet
Every year since I was five I've asked for the same thing from Santa for Christmas: A $100,000 Diamond Encrusted Toilet. Now, finally, my dreams have come to fruition. Thank you, Japan.
Comprised of better than 72,000 pieces of Swarovski cut crystal, this toilet has over 98% more diamonds than the average American toilet, which generally sports AT MOST 10-15 hand cut diamonds.
For those who are a fan of toilets consuming waste, fear not, this one consumes waste with the best of them. Although, because of the high quality of the toilet, bathroom reading is severely affected, as it is simply too low class to read a Maxim magazine or Guns and Ammo on the toilet. The only magazines that you should ever read while relieving yourself on this toilet are "Cigar Afficianado," "Rich Guy," or "Billionaire Rare Dog Collector Weekly."
The toilet is currently on display in the Ginza Shopping District. One of the most elegant shopping districts in Japan, made only more elegant by a toilet that costs more than the down payment on a three story house in Detroit.
For those of you worried that this toilet might not be the home of an Omnipotent God, fear not, Kuzuo Summimiya, director of the showroom where the toilet is displayed told reporters, " We believe a deity exists in the toilet." And yes, I did take that quote out of context.
Now that it is confirmed that when you go to the bathroom in the Diamond Toilet you are going to the bathroom on a living God, you should be aware of what can happen to a person when they urinate or defecate on an omnipotent being.
What would you do with the diamond toilet if you owned it? Let us know in the comments!