Justin Bieber Fan Has Surgery to Look Like Alternate Universe Nightmare-Version of Justin Bieber
Somalians wake up every day in a country embroiled in civil war. Car crash survivors are, at this very moment, relearning how to walk and speak. There are parents, right here in America, who don't know how they're going to feed their kids.
This is all a really long, depressing way of saying that some people? Some people got problems. Toby Sheldon, a 33-year old from Los Angeles who doesn't feel he looks enough like Justin Bieber?
He actually needs more problems.
Over the last ten years, Sheldon's used Justin Bieber's "flawless" face as a roadmap for his physical appearance. At over 100,000 dollars worth of plastic surgery — including botox injections, eyelid lifts, face fillers, a lowered hairline, a chin reduction, and (dear god) a perma-smile — Sheldon may look slightly more like Justin Bieber, but he absolutely looks less like a human being.
He is, however, getting closer to looking like a character from a Playstation 3 game.
It's clear that by coopting Justin Bieber's "youthful" looks, Sheldon hopes to stave off the process. He's even admitted to The Daily Mail that he has a fear of aging, which is like, duh. Even the absolute worst psychiatrist would have been able to call that.
"Well, you're either depressed or iron deficient, so I'll just prescribe both meds and you just feel free to pop some whenever."
I usually try not to begrudge people for feeling scared, especially not about something as reasonable as the encroachment of death. But there are good ways and bad ways to deal with our fears, and I would argue that what makes the difference between those two paths is the truth.
Sheldon IS aging. To alter his face to pretend he's not is undignified, and that makes it feel kind of gross. I mean, we're all barreling towards death, but we can choose to accept it with dignity, or we can fight against it, and lose our humanity.
This ideological conflict is perfectly represented by the Darth Vader/ Obi Wan Kenobi lightsaber battle in Star Wars: Obi-Wan accepted his mortality, and died, becoming more powerful than we could possibly imagine, while Darth Vader was living on, lying to himself about who he was and what he'd become, and losing his humanity in the process.
Although, to be fair, there aren't a lot of ideological questions that COULDN'T be summed up in the Darth Vader/ Obi-Wan Kenobi lightsaber battle.
PICTURED: Innocence vs. experience, progressive vs. conservative tax structures, going to bed vs. staying up all night watching Netflix, etc.
What celebrity would you get plastic surgery to look like? Let me know on Twitter — @mikeyfromsu — or in the comments below!