Justin Bieber Goes For More 'Mature' Sound On New Song 'Boyfriend'

Calling all women! According to Justin Bieber's new single "Boyfriend," Justin wants to be YOUR boyfriend. Justin's desire for girlfriends knows no age boundaries. He cares not about your race, religion, country, or creed. If you were born with female parts, or have had female parts grafted to you at some point, he is coming for you. He will be your boyfriend. There is nothing you can do to stop him. 

 

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If you are a woman, whether you like it or not, this man will be your boyfriend.

 

Justin Bieber's single "Boyfriend," suggests a dystopian future where all women live huddled in fear, dirty, cold, shivering together in underground shelters as Justin roams the blasted countryside from shelter to shelter, slamming his fists against rickety wooden shelter doors, demanding to be let in, demanding to be their boyfriends.

 

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Nothing can stop Bieber. Not acid. Not bullets. Nothing.

 

"Boyfriend," is the first song released off Justin's new album, "Believe," which he says showcases a new "mature" style. And the new single "Boyfriend," reaffirms his assertion of a newfound maturity, with such clearly mature lyrics as, "Swag swag swag on you/ chillin' by the fire while we eatin' fondu," "I could be your Buzz Lightyear fly across the globe," and, "Na na na / Na na na/ Na na na na ey."

 

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Na na na/ Na na na/ Na na na na ey.

 

Justin stayed up until midnight with his 19 MILLION twitter followers, egging them on, tweet flirting with them, and posting graphic, shocking, often violent pictures of the things he plans to do to them if he is their boyfriend.

 

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BE HIS BOYFRIEND. IT'S NOT LIKE YOU HAVE A CHOICE.

 

Justin has been working hard on updating his image, giving it a more mature, darker sheen. Recently posing for pictures in Complex magazine which showed him slighlty bloodied, receiving a few hits in a boxing match, then later that week single-handedly piloting a Blackhawk helicopter into Pakistan to fire sidewinder missiles into an apartment complex believed to contain key members of the Taliban.

 

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Justin Beliebs in three things: truth, justice, and violence as the solution to complex international issues

 

Justin's new album will likely be released shortly, and fans having been given a taste of Justin's new mature desire to be their boyfriend are now salivating all over their parent's feet and backs in anticipation. To sate them somewhat while waiting for the album, here is a list of expected tracks on the new album:

 

1. Ladeez B So Fine

2. Just Belieb

3. Why U Be Trippin Ft. Cannibal Corpse

4. Nazzzty Thumbz

5. I'm Going 2 Have Sex Wit U And I Won't Use Protection

6. I'm Going 2 Have Sex Wit U And I Won't Use Protection (Skit)

7. Beach Bodies Ft. Anti-Flag

8. I Gave Miley Cyrus Hep C And Ur Next Ft. Democratic Minority Whip Rep. Steny Hoyer

9. Nazzzty Thumbz (Fizzy Trubbles Remix)

10. Shake Yo Bacon Ft. Anthony Hopkins

 

What other song titles would like to see on Justin's new album? Let us know in the comments!

 

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