Karaoke Panda Means Serious Business In Japan!
Japanese people love Karaoke. That should come as no surprise since they invented it. It’s something the entire family can enjoy between sharing baths, sitting silently with one another and bouts of domestic abuse.
From an early age each Japanese child is put through a rigorous course of karaoke training. The result is a country with men, women and children who are able to sing at a level that makes American Idol look like a talent show for the hearing impaired.
With a debilitating lack of natural musical talent, the Japanese were left little choice but to use their world-renowned technological know-how—Karaoke has made them the world’s first cybernetic singing machines.
Karaoke training is serious business. And those who feel their talents are lacking will pay big money on products designed to help them sing the theme from Titanic just like Celene Dion.
A tuning fork in a pacifier… (Shrug)
Ohh..I get it…kind of.
Some people even enroll in classes, learning from trained karaoke professionals. Each yen another step toward wowing the cute guy from the office at the next “nomikai” (literally; drinking party.)
Translation: “Be the star at your next mandatory office drinking party!”
If you come to Tokyo you’ll see at least one tall karaoke-box close to almost every station. These are nothing like the dirty, dive bar karaoke we envision in the U.S.
Karaoke + America = Ameri-oke
In Japan you enter a tower of private rooms outfitted with the latest in advanced karaoke entertainment.
A courteous karaoke-box employee will show you to your quarters and take you drink orders.
After that it’s up to you! Start loading up songs, and/or get loaded on as many beers as possible. You have only a few hours allotted for “nomihoudai” (all-you-can-drink). Use the phone on the wall to order and always order more than you need.
Beer fuels Karaoke greatness.
It’s time to try to operate the giant remote, which contains the world’s most extensive library of karaoke songs, even the current hits that you’re really sick of. Have the “quit” button at the ready to give people the hook.
After you sing, Karaoke Panda rates your performance on the screen. Do really well and you’ll see something like this:
Give a half-hearted, off-key rendition of Taylor Swift? Karaoke Panda will show you where you can put you’re singing career.
A Dirty Pand-chez means you stink.
What's your favorite Karaoke song? Let us know in the comments, and see you in the Karaoke Box!