Katy Perry's Darkest Secrets Revealed!

When singer Katy Perry confessed that she has been using Proactiv to treat her terrible acne problems, the world was stunned. If a pop beauty like Perry had been hiding her struggle with acne, what other disgusting, shameful secrets were lurking in her closet? The internet immediately went into research mode and turned up a plethora of dirt. Here are some of the more notable Katy Perry secrets that have surfaced.

 

A Total Diva

Katy Perry’s temper tantrums are legendary in the industry. Reports from inside the Children’s Television Workshop say that when Perry appeared on Sesame Street in 2010, she became enraged for unknown reasons and threw hot coffee in Elmo’s face. The popular Muppet was rushed to the hospital with second-degree burns. Perry’s publicist denies that the singer was responsible for Elmo’s injuries.

 

Short Lived Polka Career

Hardcore Perry fans know that, before hitting it big with her current pop tart image, Perry released a gospel album under her real name Katy Hudson. What fewer people know is that before the gospel album, Perry recorded an entire album of Polka standards under the name Käty Hudsön.

 

Thought Russell Brand Was a Beatle

The rumor is that when Perry started dating her now husband, British comedian Russell Brand, she actually thought he was a member of the seminal 1960s pop group The Beatles. “Right, he was married before to the woman with the one leg,” she told an interviewer, apparently mistaking Brand for Sir Paul McCartney.

 

California Gurls Originally Sheboygan Gurls

As originally written, Perry’s hit single was about the ladies of the plucky Wisconsin town on the shores of Lake Michigan. Perry reportedly spent a lot of time in ‘boygan while recording her polka album and fell in love with the place. It was Perry’s producer Dr. Luke who suggested the location change. Perry occasionally performs the original version when touring the upper mid-west.

 

Not Her Real Voice

There have been accusations that Perry’s real voice is less than stellar and is greatly enhanced with Auto-Tune and other such studio tricks. There are also more sinister whispers that claim Perry’s voice is unaltered, but was actually stolen from a beautiful mermaid princess in some dark, undersea bargain.

 

Not Really Human

There are a lot of theories along these lines. Too many to list here, but the highlights include robot, alien, and a half-cat/half-woman creature. Perhaps the most outlandish tale is that Perry is actually a grotesque, conniving Sea Witch who has taken human form via evil oceanic magic.

 

Killed A Dude

Accounts vary wildly, even among supposed eyewitnesses. Some say Perry stabbed the guy, others say she strangled him with her bare hands. Some claim it was a dispute over money, and others say Perry just wanted to know the sick thrill that only comes from watching the light go out of a man’s eyes as his lifeforce slips away through your fingers.

 

Eats Kittens

Many celebs undergo unusual diets and health rituals to keep themselves in shape for the public eye, but Katy Perry might be on one of the weirdest diets ever. Insiders report that Perry eats nothing but kittens. At least a dozen fresh, adorable kittens a day, plucked from a basket, fur and all. Supposedly it’s the fur that keeps Perry’s own hair looking so shiny and lustrous.

Have you come across any other Katy Perry secrets in your internet travels? Leave them in the comments below!

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