Last Minute Valentine's Day Gifts for the Laziest Amongst Us
Nobody in the history of relationships has ever once remembered Valentine's Day. So what are you going to do, run around to every last Walgreens in the city and hope they have some chocolates or flowers left? Forget that — you have amazing Valentine's Day presents lying around your house right now! For example:
The last banana
How could your significant other not be appreciative of you selflessly giving up the last banana? The only thing going on your cereal tomorrow morning is love. And just a f*ck ton of sugar.
Your copy of Uncharted 2
Because you've probably beaten it by now, haven't you? And if your significant other doesn't have a PlayStation 3, well, maybe they'll get one. A push towards a PlayStation 3 is always a good Valentine's gift.
This skateboard someone left over at my house like six months ago
This will give your significant other a way to get to work while you stay at home and get caught up on Fringe.
Follow Friday them
New twitter followers are a universally beloved gift. They're the Blockbuster Gift Card of the 21st century.
Song on the ukulele
It's like a song on the acoustic guitar except easier to play and worse sounding! Do you think they'll like Vampire Weekend's "Oxford Comma"? Because that's like the easiest song to learn on ukulele.
Everyone loves a coupon book filled with romantic things you're offering to do for them, such as "One 10 minute session of listening" or "One level beaten for you in Uncharted 2" or "Do the dishes (only my own dishes apply)".
Dilbert Cube Calendar
I think my roommates' dad sent this to him when he was on a big Dilbert kick or something. In any event, dates. Now you know the dates.
Everything on this list just thrown in a grocery bag
Guys I just got broken up with.
What did you give your loved one for Valentine's? How much was it, and do you think there are any left? Let us (me) know in the comments below!