The Least Popular Vampire Romance Novels Ever

Vampire romance novels are all the rage these days, proving the age old adage: "Women like to be completely drained of their blood by the people they have sex with." Series' of novels like Twilight, The Sookie Stackhouse series, and probably some other crap are beloved and sell way more copies than, in all likelihood, other things. But there are many series that simply haven't taken off the way Twilight has. Here are some of the vampire fiction romance novels that haven't done so well:

 

This vampire is always down to hit that. Big or small, black or white, he's ready anytime, anywhere.

 

Vampires are notorious for falling in love with outcast, yet attractive teenage girls. Larry is no exception, but he's got quite an obstactle to overcome.

 

Editors are always trying to find ways to one up their old properties. Now that Twilight is nearing its end they're looking for ways to milk the product, and since a big part of the product is the "May December" ages of Edward and Bella they figured they'd heighten that difference. It wasn't quite the hit Twilight was, but it did achieve what you might call a... cult following.

 

This guy is everything you'd want in a vampire: he can suck your blood, he's ripped, hot, sensitive, authoritative, but still wants you to make your own way in the world. Unfortunately, he can only eat garlic because he's allergic to everything else, so he stinks like sh*t all the time.

 

Not all vampire boyfriends are adventurous thrill seekers. Some of them just want to chill in front of the tube with a bowl of fresh blood and zone out on MMOGS.

 

Vampires can be really crappy to sleep next to. Not only do they sweat blood when they're hot, but they also fart grave yard dust. Do you have any idea how annoying it is to wake up with farted grave yard dust all over your panties?

 

if a Vampire tells you he'd rather do late dinner date than a lunch date, trust him, he's got a good reason.

 

What other vmapire romance novels have been less than successful? Let us know in the comments!

 

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