Grown Man Thinks He's a Real Life PENGUIN

Ever since 1968, when a car accident gave Alfred David a slight limp, his friends have called him "Mister Penguin." Because friends like to have a little laugh at each other's expense, right? Its all in good fun! The fun little nickname given to him by his pals won't have any life-altering consequences, right?


david penguin collection
Oh.
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You see, David did what anyone would do when confronted with adversity - he adapted to it and made it his own. Beginning a seemingly endless collection of collection of penguin merchandise and even donning a penguin suit that he thinks actually makes him a penguin, Alfred David has begun a new life as Brussels' "Mousier Penguin".


davis penguin
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David has such a kinship with penguins he even said his life's dream is to be buried in Antarctica with all the penguins.

And I totally understand that! I mean, my life's dream has to do with where I'm going to DIE too. I want to be buried under a tree in a beautiful forest. Yes sir, the only goal I have in life is to die somewhere nice.


sleeping on couch
Nothing I want to accomplish while I'm ALIVE, no sir!
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Of course, there's a dark side to David's penguin fascination. His wife left him when he told her he wanted to legally change his name to "Mr. Penguin". as all wives do when their husbands declare their intent to legally change their names to "Mr. Penguin".


danny devito penguin
But, he got to meet Danny DeVito, who PLAYED The Penguin, so, you know. Life balances out.
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See, guys, THIS is why you don't make fun of your friends' shortcomings! Sure, the first time some guy pointed out his limp and called him Mr. Penguin, David might have laughed about it. But that remark cut him to the core. That one jovial nickname so influenced Alfred David that he felt the need to define himself by it. And it cost him his wife. It cost him his his dignity. And that isn't fair to him.

So let's all make an effort, okay? Let's stop subtly mocking our friends for their imperfections. Because it might be having a greater impact than we think.


forest whitaker
You hear that Forest Whitaker? I'm done making fun of you for your weird eye.
You can come over to my house again if you want.

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What animal are you going to become creepily obsessed with in your old age? Let me know on twitter @mikeyfromsu or in the comments below!

 


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