Medieval Irish Prepared For Zombies?

Let's be honest. There is not one single human being on the planet today who isn't scared of the zombie apocalypse. But most sociologists have considered this a modern fear that originated back in 1998 when zombies first broke through the window of that gun shop at the beginning of Resident Evil 2.

"I ain't got no clue, darlin'."

But it looks like the completely reasonable fear of zombie apocalypse goes back a lot further than even 1998. An archeologist from the Ireland-based Institute of Technology, Chris Read, has unearthed two skeletons that suggest that people have been cautious of the undead for over 700 years.

"Remember m'lord, either put an arrow through the brain or decapitate the head completely."

According to Read, it was believed that the mouth was vital to any sort of dead-to-alive sort of transformations. Sometimes the soul would come back to the body and enter through the mouth or, even worse, an evil spirit would enter through the mouth and take possession of the corpse. So to make sure none of that nonsense could go down, the medieval Irish would simply shove a rock up in that mouth.

Pictured: Problem Solving

They were also buried next to each other, which implies the rocks were not a coincidence and that the burial spot was chosen specifically. Could that piece of land have been considered a sacred spot of land where the dead were less likely to rise? An inverse Pet Cemetery, if you will?


"Still Dead? Good. Glad to hear it."

Not everyone in this time period were buried with a rock in their mouth to prevent reanimation, though. Only those considered dangerous, like murderers and thieves, who would I guess be double evil if they were resurrected, had the rock placed in their mouths. Perhaps they were concerned about the criminals they themselves had put to death coming back for revenge on their killers. Who would want to face a zombie with a personal axe to grind?

"I'm coming for you, Ted! Teach you to not return my hedge clippers."

I do love this line of thinking though. My enemies must never return to life, and I shall shove into their mouths whatever I need to shove to prevent it, thought the medieval Irish. But if Grandma is going get spirit reawakened and bake some more of those monster cookies she used to make when I was a kid, then who am I to defy the wishes of the spirits?

"Honey, act nice. Grandma doesn't get to visit that often."

Well? Were the old-timey Irishmen overreacting, or were their actions prudent in light of the inevitable zombie apocalypse we'll all one day be facing? Speak up in the comments!


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