7 Most Annoying Ways To Brag On Facebook

Facebook is the perfect way to share things about your life and accomplishments with all 900 of your closest friends. I definitely think it’s cool to do a little bragging here and there. But there are some people who brag so much, you don’t just wanna just poke them, you wanna virtually punch them in the face. Here’s a list of the most annoying types of facebrags.

 

Best Relationship Ever!

These people are in love with the most wonderful person in the universe. They do not believe in private messages, so every update reads like a cheesy Hallmark card and is usually addressed to their beloveds, containing words like babe, awesome, luckiest and peppered with lots of these: <3. It’s very difficult not to respond with a comment that contains words like bile, vomit and STFU.

 

So Good At The Sexy Time

These updates often happen while this guy is supposedly in the midst of doing what he does so well. “Gettin' my tantric on!! Dudes, I’m killing it!” Can I just say that if you’re texting while doing the deed, you are SO not doing it well. I can only hope the girl you are currently disappointing mocks you in her status update afterwards. It is also a scientific fact that these guys have small wieners.

 

So Proud!

We get it! Your child is gifted in some way due to your devoted parenting! Good thing they have you there doing the hardest job in the world 24/7, one you wouldn’t trade for anything! Have you mentioned lately that you are a super mom? I would say that that is the only thing you mention. Now take down the picture of junior’s first turd in the big boy toilet… ‘cause even though it repulses me, I can’t stop looking at it.

 

It’s Hard To Be So Good Looking

This person doesn’t think they are bragging, they are just reporting the facts. “Today at Starbucks someone asked me if I was a model, I was like yeah right!” “Just walking down the street today when a man said you have the most amazing eyes…weird.” They also post ‘sexy’ pics of themselves with captions that read “UGH I hate this pic of me.” Don’t say something logical like ‘then why’d you post it?’ Because apparently anyone who is critical of a beautiful person is just jealous.

 

Life Is Awesome!

This person not only has the best life ever but they are busy, busy, busy little beavers constantly doing so many great things. They have at least three brags in every status update. “Amazing morning doing make-up on the set of One Tree Hill (LOVE my job!), was able to squeeze in a lunch with my amazing mom, then back to the set, where I ran into famous celebrity pal (don’t wanna name drop!) who, let’s just say, made me wanna blush!” That’s funny… made me wanna throw my computer into a wall and question the existence of a higher power.

 

Cryptic Bragger

“Guess whose fiancé just made her the happiest girl in the world? Yes I said fiancé!” “Guess who got promoted to senior blahblahblah of some job title you never heard of?” Um…you? Guess who gets endlessly mocked in private messages every time she likes something she wrote about herself and her great life? That’s right! You again!

 

The Good Person

This person isn’t bragging, they’re inspiring us by sharing things from their blessed life. They are also always the first person to change their status update to stop the slaughtering of Peeps on Easter or change their profile pic to a famous TV dad in a stand against childhood obesity. 3% of people on Facebook think he is a modern day Mother Teresa. The other 97% think he is a huge butthole.

Which facebrag bugs you the most? Which ones are you guilty of? Let us know in the comments!

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