The Most Satisfying Senseless Acts Of Destruction
Chaos. War. Destruction. These are heavy subjects, and also all grouped together in the Thesaurus I just used for reference. But not all destruction is chaotic. Or war… ish. Some of it comes, not from a place of pain, but a place of pleasure. Painful, painful pleasure. Those times when your emotions are so threatening to boil over, you think “I either smash something, or I may literally just burst into flames.” Well, Lords knows I’ve been there, and from personal experience I can say that these are the 7 Most Satisfying Acts of Senseless Destruction:
Snapping a Controller
This is a classic, that moment of pure frustration where you start twisting down on both sides of, what feels like at the time, the hand of the evil box that is causing you so much frustration. Sure, this results in the need to almost always shell out 50 bucks over the next few days, but for abrief moment you get to feel like you hurt you PS3 right back.
Related in spirit to the controller snap, this move entails just grabbing the first thing you can get your hands on, and then flinging it across the room. The item could be anything, chair, blu-ray case, toddler, whatever.
Intentional Rear Ending
Here’s an important lesson about driving: Other motorists are garbage. And every know and then, when one of these sub-humans cuts you off, you just get the craziest urge to, not slow down, but just plow into their rear bumper, thus demonstrating to them the logical outcome of their dangerous behavior.
Dinner Plate Smash
You know how in movies, when a family is at the dinner table and everyone is arguing and then one person (often the patriarch) gets their attention by throwing a plate of food at the wall? Well, the reason that is a go to move in film, is because that move really works effectively. And it feels good to watch the spaghetti slowly unstick, and drop from the wall. METAPHORS!
Scream, Scream, And Scream Some More
There just moments in your life where you go “you know what the only thing that will make me feel better right now? Shredding my vocal cords.” Fun fact: My friend once screamed so hard her throat bled!
Why are you punching the wall? The wall has done NOTHING to you. BUT THAT’S WHAT MAKES IT SENSELESS (and also that wall has been acting like a jerk).
Annihilate A Planet
Hey, look, we’re not condoning any of the things on this list, but I gotta say, whether it was the Phoenix Force, or Star Wars, or some jerk playing Master of Orion 2, blowing up a planet always looks IMMENSELY satisfying.
I think I might have some rage issues. WHO DARES CHALLENEGE ME? Let us know in the comments!