6 Movie Settings That Would Make for Great Summer Vacations
6 Movie Settings That Would Make for Great Summer Vacations By Francesco Marciuliano
This summer millions of people will flock to the beach to Disney World or to the airport where they will spend their entire vacation waiting to take off from the runway. But you can avoid the huge crowds and high costs by simply avoiding reality altogether and taking a trip to one of the following imaginary movie destinations…
Metropolis (“Superman”/ “Man of Steel”)
Vacation Tagline: “At least our city isn’t regularly overthrown by a guy wearing makeup or a someone dressed as a penguin.”
Why You Should Vacation There: Unlike Gotham City where your hero is just a regular guy who likes to dress up in bat-fetish bondage gear and talks as if he’s been screaming since he was three, Metropolis is protected by someone who can’t be killed…unless someone finds a pebble from his home planet. Also, unlike Gotham, Metropolis is very clean, is a target for only the most boring and ineffective supervillains around, and is not cut off entirely from humanity by simply blowing up two bridges.
Why You Should Avoid It: Occasionally Lex Luthor or General Zod shows up and everything goes to hell pretty damn fast.
The Shire (“Lord of the Rings”/ “The Hobbit”)
Vacation Tagline: “If you miss lunch there’s always second lunch, third lunch, pre-dinner, early dinner, dinner, post-dinner dinner, and midnight just-shove-your-head-into-a vat-of-cooked-meat-and-eat-until-you-pass-out.”
Why You Should Vacation There: If you want to relax, get away from it all, and start drinking by 9 am then there is no more of a peaceful, pastoral destination than The Shire. It’s where no one ever seems to worry about work, worry about purchasing proper footwear, or worry that being so damn short means they could be routinely mugged by raccoons.
Why You Should Avoid It: There’s taking it easy and then there’s slipping into a coma between naps. So if you want some real excitement best to pack your bags and broadsword for Helm’s Deep instead.
Emerald City (“The Wizard of Oz”/ “Oz the Great and Powerful”)
Vacation Tagline: “A five-star getaway from midgets, witches, and airborne monkeys.”
Why You Should Vacation There: Emerald City is essentially the Capitol of Panem without the sportscasts of teenagers killing each other. You have countless spas, people dressed up in weird costumes, a sense of both decadence and well-being, and a government based on a lie. You also have a horse that keeps changing colors, which has nothing to do with “The Hunger Games” but would finally make Summer Olympic events like dressage interesting.
Why You Should Avoid It: Apparently the only way to get here is by getting sucked into a tornado or receiving a severe blow to the head.
Toontown (“Who Framed Roger Rabbit”)
Vacation Tagline: “Enter the world of your favorite cartoon so long as that cartoon was made before 1947.”
Why You Should Vacation There: In a cartoon world you can do anything and still survive. Well, maybe you can’t but all of your beloved cartoon characters can. You, alas, will probably be killed by a falling anvil before you even check into your hotel. But those first three minutes of your vacation will be outright hilarity.
Why You Should Avoid It: All of the consumer products are made Acme, which means even your toothbrush is bound to explode or cause you to plummet off a cliff.
The Grid (“Tron:Legacy”)
Vacation Tagline: “The Matrix without all the philosophical bullsh*t.”
Why You Should Vacation There: How many times have you been in serious danger in a video game and thought, “I wish this was real”? By visiting The Grid all of your hardcore gaming fantasies can come true, so long as those fantasies involve throwing a Frisbee, riding around on a bike, and being attacked from one of the aliens from Space Invaders.
Why You Should Avoid It: Despite all the improved graphics from the original “Tron” you’ll still feel like you’re trapped inside a video game from the 1980’s, meaning it’s only a matter of time before you find yourself forever stuck in Atari’s “E.T.”
Mos Eisley (“Star Wars”)
Vacation Tagline: “Just imagine if you had summered on Alderaan instead.”
Why You Should Vacation There: Mos Eisley may be a “wretched hive of scum and villainy” but it does have live music (even if the bar band only knows one song), countless interesting people (who may or may not shoot first depending on your viewpoint), a chance to travel to distant planets (with a pirate and his upright sheepdog), and the sense that all this place needs is a few slot machines and a brothel to become Reno.
Why You Should Avoid It: Summer on a planet with two suns, the only drinking water available has to be taken from the sky, and the desert is teeming with Sand People who resemble an avant-garde community theater group that lost both its funding and its freaking mind.
Which one was your favorite? Let me know in the comments!