My Top 10 Dating Secrets

I have 20 years of dating experience and I want to share it with you.

If you follow these tips you will have a 50/50 chance of getting another date. Conversely you will have a 70/30 chance at being made fun of. Either way your date is sure to be exciting.

 

Wear Cologne

It is a proven fact that a woman's sense of smell is greater than a man's, and most women respond to a great smelling guy. What is also a fact (proven by me) is that if you run out of cologne to wear you shouldn't rub a car freshener all over yourself in hopes that it will have the same effect. "New Car Smell" does not equal romance.

 

Proper Attire

Every girl's crazy about a sharp dressed man! At least that is what ZZ Top has taught me, but what they failed to mention is that your suit and tie may be very classy - but if you don't have dress shoes and just wear your Converse hi-tops the classiness factor is diminished.

 

Acceptable Hygiene

Although your friends may find it all kinds of awesome that your farts sound like Donald Duck singing Poker Face, you might want to keep this skill private until date 4 or 5.

 

Show Your Manliness

Having Magnum PI type chest hair may or may not be cool, but taking your shirt off in a movie theater to prove that you attain such locks is not. Just saying.

 

Table Manners

Never put your elbows on the table. Use the proper fork. Place the napkin in your lap. Also there are many cultures that respect a loud belch after the meal as a sign that you are satisfied, Ruth's Chris Steakhouse is not among those.

 

Appropriate Conversation

Polite conversation might include your work, her work or shared hobbies. What it would not include is the weird rash on your back that just won't go away, and no it doesn't make a difference that she is a doctor.

 

Bring Gifts

Women love gifts! A small token of your affection is always nice. What is not nice is when you bring a small figurine of Smeagol because she once mentioned that she liked LOTR.

 

Appear Engaged

Pay attention to the conversation and don't be surprised if she gets upset when she sees the earbud in your ear that leads to you iPhone. I understand you want to hear the play by play of the Jets game but it is best not to schedule a dinner date on a Sunday or a Monday or sometimes a Thursday.

 

Be A Gentleman

Always and always be a gentleman! There is no better and easier way to score points than to open doors for your date and offer her your hand when crossing the street. What you don't want to do is mention that she looks nice as you are staring at her chest.

 

Acknowledge Your Missteps

If you accidentally knock a fork off of the table or spill your drink just acknowledge it, apologize and move on. What you don't want to do is fart and then look her in the eyes and say “your turn”. This will not go over well.

If you follow these steps you may or may not have a successful love life, let's face it it’s a crapshoot in the end. What's your best dating tip? Share with us in the comments below!

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