The Only 10 Things Left On The Internet That Are Safe For Work
I don't know how you're supposed to browse the internet at work. So much of it is Not Safe For Work that it's starting to seem like the whole internet is NSFW. And in fact, it basically is. There are next to zero websites you can go to anymore without accidentally stumbling onto something NSFW. Not this one, not this one, and especially not this one. And so, since I know you have a corporate job and your browser history is beamed directly into your boss' office, here are the last ten things on the internet that are SFW—
Official website of the Jacksonville Jaguars
Most NFL teams have scantily clad cheerleaders all over their webpage to celebrate the team and their victories. You're not going to see ANY forms of potential celebration on the website of the 2-11 Jacksonville Jaguars. The Kansas City Chiefs are also sitting at 2-11, and I was tempted to list their website as SFW too, but that team name is a little bit racist.
North Dakota's state website
Make sure you go to NORTH Dakota's website though. South Dakota's? Nothing but tits.
Brene Brown's TED Talk on the power of vulnerability
This is a really interesting TED Talk about the very human emotions of shame, empathy, and love. Also, it's the only TED Talk that isn't too Subversive For Work.
Tricia Goyer's Twitter
She just seems really nice, is all.
This about.com page that teaches you how to tap dance
Tap dancing is good, wholesome fun. Did you know that our troops were entertained by tap dancers during World War II? It's true — if your work considers tap dancing NSFW, then your work is UNAMERICAN, which is the worst thing you can be. Unless you work somewhere that isn't America. Which is possible, I guess.
The Bob Dole/ Jack Kemp 1996 campaign website
This website, from the 1996 presidential election Senator Bob Dole would lose to President Bill Clinton, cannot be NSFW, because it went up before swear words or sex were invented.
The Wikipedia page on Wikipedia
Most Wikipedia pages have a tendency to link to potentially explicit pages, but this Wikipedia page is so meta that you have no choice but to stop and think about it for hours on end. Although, if you're thinking about it, you're not working. Nothing is less safe for work than a webpage that keeps you from working. Maybe this isn't as SFW as I thought.
This specific Princess Diana tribute page
This is the only Princess Diana tribute site that makes it easy to copy a ribbon so you can remember Princess Diana on your own webpage. Not remembering Princess Diana on your webpage is NSFW.
WAIT NOT THAT NORTH DAKOTA PAGE
I just checked back and now it's, like, ALL tits. Damn it, I'm at work! That's never coming out of my browser history!
Chiquita Bananas official webpage
I totally thought this would be a good website to go to to learn about potassium, but actually… now that I look at it… Oh God. Those look A LOT like penises. OH GOD, THEY LOOK LIKE PENISES. Well, I'm definitely getting fired for this. I'm stealing all the office's staplers.
Is the internet forever lost to those of us with jobs? Let me know on Twitter at @mikeyfromsu or in the comments below!